The Manhood Talks | Foundation & IdentitySample

Day 7 | Genesis 2:21-25 | No Shame

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Welcome back men. Day six, still talkin’ bout manhood. Now remember, tomorrow’s guide is made to listen together—group study. If you don’t have a group, that’s okay. And even if you do, I wonder how many of you find the idea of talking about manhood together a little intimidating.

Like what if they make us do push-ups, and I can only do…um, I can do… thir..fourt..ifty. .. thir-fourtifty. It’s a special counting system I use only for intense workouts. Which I do often. In fact I’m a little sore right now ... but that’s okay. I’ll throw in a few with the rest of you guys.

Why is it that we feel compelled to exaggerate how many pushups we can do? As if our manhood depended more on our pushups than our honesty. Grown men do this.

But I get it. As a guy who got picked last more than once in junior high, I get it. It’s a sort of feeling like you have to be something that you’re not. Like you have to cover the real you in order to be the man that others expect.

We’ll get back to that, but we left off in Genesis with Adam having seen Eve for the first time. Finally the true helper, “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” In other words, part of me. Now at verse 24:

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

So this unity for the first couple is for every marriage. Two become one. We care for one another, as we care for ourselves. We belong to each other. Now there is clearly a special unity ascribed here to marriage. But this is also the foundation of the human race. We are all of the same flesh and bone, and all of us are connected by it. And the Bible’s call to love is a call to love everyone—family, neighbor, friend, enemy. Every man is called to love.

Then verse 25 the last verse in the chapter:

“Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 1:25).

Okay stop giggling. Those are your great-great grandparents. And they were naked. But what’s remarkable is that they felt no shame.

Shame is that innate sense that I need to cover up to hide something hide who I am or what I’ve done. It’s that feeling that you have to cover the real you and pretend to be what others expect. Hide my mistakes, my feelings, myself.

Now to be clear with sin in the world, there is a proper place for shame. And for clothing too. (Get confused on that one and you could have a very regrettable day at school. Keep your clothes on!). And when you do wrong, feeling ashamed is appropriate. But feeling shame for sin is entirely different from feeling ashamed of who we are.

And here in Genesis 2, think about the kind of life that God intended for us. No shame. No guilt or regret. No awful sense that who I am isn’t good enough. And no pretending to be something just to fit in, or hiding behind a façade.

They felt no shame. If you asked Adam how many push ups he could do, he would just tell you honestly and feel great about it. And that place—the place of no shame—that is where God wants to bring us back to.

We’ll dig into that next week. But first, I want to think through another core concept in manhood: identity. How you see yourself. How you define you.

And here again, we find a striking difference between the world and the Bible. For the world identity comes in labels, and we try them on like clothing: jock, prep, geek, hipster, punk, emo, gamer, or whatever. We connect our identity with a team, a band, a group of friends, a career. And that’s usually how we split up at lunch time.

But all of those are things we put on and often use to cover up. But is that you? Is that how you see yourself just conformed into one more cookie cutter? And what about God? Do we really believe that our Creator just wants to shove us into another cookie cutter called “religious” and add one more clique to the lunch table crowd? There’s gotta be more to it.

So here’s your assignment for today. Read the end of Genesis 2 and the other passages, then open your journal. Something different this time, more personal.

In your journal, at the top of a page, write the word Identity. Then draw three columns under it.

At the top of the first column, write the words: “How the world sees me”, and fill that in. Write all the words that other people use to categorize and cookie cutter you, good or bad.

In the second, write, “How I see myself”, and fill in what makes you you, in your own mind.

And in the third, write “How God sees me”, and complete it with how you think God sees you, as far as you know.

Now your identity will change as you mature how the world sees you and how you see you. But the amazing thing about God is His wonderful ability to see the man he’s called you to be and help you get there.

And when you’re done with all three columns, I want you to look them over, and just consider: which of those do you want to live for? And which one represents a life of no shame?

And remember, tomorrow’s guide is made to follow together with a mentor, dad, or friends. Now you don’t have to meet up with a group, but I think you’ll get more out of it that way. Just bring a Bible, journal, and pen. Your journal is still private, but you’ll also have an opportunity to share. And if they ask you how many push ups, just tell ‘em, “I’ll take two. Frozen please. Orange sherbet.”

Sorry. Dad joke. Force of habit.

Read Genesis 2:21-25

All verses are quoted from the NIV.