The Manhood Talks | Foundation & IdentitySample

Day 20 | Ephesians 5 | Walk in the Light

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Welcome back to The Manhood Talks, in Ephesians 5 today. TeDese back with you one more time. And today we ask the question, in the immortal words of Heavy D, now that we found love, what are we gonna do … with it?

Hope you like the old-school reference. Emphasis on the old, because I’m old. But seriously, that’s what Ephesians is about. The first half is all about finding and knowing the incredible, amazing, love of Jesus. Here in the second half, it’s all about what we do with that love.

In chapter 4, walk worthy. Walk through this world in humility. Walk in unity and walk in the light.

And here in chapter 5, verse 1 says,

“walk in the way of love,” (Ephesians 5:1).

Paul says walk in love because you are loved. You are God’s dearly loved children, so follow Dad’s example. Follow Jesus’ example, in verse 2:

“…just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us….” (Ephesians 5:2).

If you want to know what love looks like — look to Jesus. Love like Jesus means selfless sacrifice.

And chapter 5 digs on two keys: walk in light, and walk in love. But this is not earning God’s love. He already loves you. And you cannot do this in your own strength. You need the Holy Spirit. That’s the key — die to the old self, and put on the new, powered by the Spirit.

So, first up — walk in love. It begins with what love is not.

Verse 3:

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed," (Ephesians 5:3).

This one is essential to love. No sexual immorality. Now it doesn’t say that sex is bad. God created sex. But sex without morals — without God’s rules — that’s bad. God’s rules for sex are pretty simple: sex is for marriage. One man, one woman, married. That’s it. Lust, adultery, pornography — they all gotta go.

Easier said than done. But the key thing is the motivation. It’s not just about rules. It’s not God telling you that all the fun stuff is off-limits. This is about love. Not the feeling of love — the real thing. Real love means sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed for us. That’s love. And so we make real sacrifices.

And I am not saying, “If you love her, sex is okay.” Wrong. That’s all about feeling love. I’m saying that love is waiting till marriage. I’m saying that you prove your love, and prove your commitment by sacrifice — by waiting.

See, doing what feels good now only proves that your love yourself. So this is God’s design: make the sacrifice. Wait for marriage. No sex till marriage. And no porn — ever. Pornography is addictive and selfish to the core. And it will tear at your soul if you let it in. Porn destroys love and destroys marriage. I’m not trying to scare you — just hoping to rescue you.

There’s a lot to talk about here. We’ll come back to it in part 2, but take this to heart. And talk to your leader about it. We all got our temptations — and we fight them better together. You will find victory as you confess your sins and keep yourself accountable to someone you trust. Win the battle in God’s power — together.

Now, back in Ephesians, Paul goes on. No dirty words, no dirty jokes. Don’t worry if your friends use them. But your mouth belongs to God. Use it to thank God for life. And watch verse 5:

“For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God” (Ephesians 5:5).

This is key. It basically says that someone who is immoral, sleezy, dirty, greedy — isn’t God’s kid. They’re not adopted, and they’re not inheriting the Kingdom. Now we all struggle with this stuff but someone who just gives in to lust and greed is an idolater. That means that sex or money or alcohol is their god. So Paul says, “Let no one deceive you with empty words.” They can call themselves Christian, but their walk reveals their king. So walk in love, and walk in light, and keep your distance from the hypocrite who claims Christ but serves himself. Verse 8:

“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light” (Ephesians 5:8).

And Paul tells us to live wisely. “Make the most of every opportunity.” Your time is short and it matters — so use every minute. In verse 18,

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18).

Paul doesn’t prohibit all alcohol here, but he does draw an important line. Don’t get drunk. When drinking makes you do foolish things, you’re too far. For some of you that means no alcohol at all.

But this is not a call to boring life! It’s a call to purpose. After all, why do people get drunk? Think about it. What are they after? Fun. Joy. Peace. Love? Alcohol can deliver those feelings, but it’s chasing the fake. The feeling of peace is not peace. Nor love, nor joy. So, “Instead, be filled with the Spirit”.

That’s the real thing! Get soaked in the Holy Spirit - and find real peace and genuine love.

And then in verse 21 we move on to dig into relationships:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

That word submit is the key to the chapter, so define it rightly. Words are tricky. This submit does not mean give in under force and fear. Submit here means yield out of respect — respect for God, others, and self. And notice: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Every relationship you have as a Christian requires sacrifice. True love means making sacrifices. So we submit — we give in out of respect, and put others first. That takes humility, and it brings unity. One plus one only equals one if we both sacrifice.

So Paul looks at three key relationships. Here in chapter 5, it’s marriage. We’re gonna dig deeper on marriage in series two, so for now, just the big picture.

Husband and wife are both called to sacrifice. Each one has something to submit but each one is different. Pay attention here.

The key to this picture is in verse 31, a quote from Genesis:

“A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31).

The two become one. Unity.

So as one body, the husband is called the head, and the wife is the body. That means the husband leads. That’s important but think it through. In one body — in one person — is the head —an overlord? Does the head boss the body around for personal gain? No. The head might call the shots, but the head is constantly serving the body — looking out for it, caring for it — breathing, eating, drinking, thinking — all to keep the body well cared for. And more importantly — they’re one. There’s no competition.

So husband — you are the leader. And your wife is called to submit to your leadership — to sacrifice her self-determining will. But you lead for her sake. You put her needs first. You sacrifice.

See your job is in verse 25:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25).

That means lead like Jesus. Love like Jesus. Sacrifice like Jesus. Lay down your life. As the wife submits her will — her God given right to direct her own life, you, husband, submit your selfish ambition. You make every decision to put her needs first.

Wives, submit by yielding way. Let him lead. Husbands, love by dying to self. Lead her by sacrificing you.

And every time a husband abuses his role as leader, he dishonors the love of Christ.

It’s quite a responsibility. And it is harder than you think — so don’t go judging where you have no experience, and we’ll dig deeper in part 2 of The Manhood Talks.

For Thought & Discussion:

Read Ephesians 5, and in your journal, I want you to write down these two phrases: walk in light, and walk in love.

Question 1: And after each one, what do you want that to look like in your life?

Read Ephesians 5