The Manhood Talks | Foundation & IdentitySample

Day 18 | Ephesians 3 | You are Loved

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Greetings gentlemen. The Manhood Talks — week 3, day 3, Ephesians 3! We got a lot of threes happening. Like a Bible hat trick today! Or a 3 pointer from 33 ft way, with 3 seconds left. Nothing but net! Let’s Go!

TeDese Ross with you again. Got a little distracted. I think I’m just excited about Ephesians 3. This chapter is amazing. So let’s get to it. Remember, this week we’re talking about faith and identity: what you believe and who you are.

Now we’ve learned already that your identity is not your image. It’s not your look and it’s not about how others see you. That’s called reputation. It’s important, but it’s not identity. And it’s not how you see yourself. That’s self-image. That’s important too, but it doesn’t define you. Identity is who you are, and that is all about how God sees you. So we start there. You can worry about reputation and self-image later. First get a firm grasp on your identity — who you are in Christ.

A little analogy will help.

Let’s say you have a fruit tree. Your favorite fruit: mangos, pomegranate, tangelo — whatever. (I love mangoes). Now how do you know what kind of tree it is? Well, you know it by it’s fruit. Mango tree makes mangos. That’s like your reputation — how others see you. But what really makes it a mango tree? It didn’t start being a mango tree by making mangos. It started — when a seed — dug in some roots. It’s the roots that make it grow and pull in the nutrients that make that fruit possible. It’s not about the surface — it’s what’s underneath.

So today, I want to talk about roots.

Let’s open up Ephesians 3. This is a good one.

In chapter 2, we were saved by grace. We didn’t earn it, we can’t brag about it. God just loves us. And that grace does something. It tears down the barriers between us. Because if we don’t earn it then none of us can claim we’re better. We’re all sinners — forgiven. Nothing to boast about. Chapter 2 says that Jesus brought us together. He tore down the “dividing wall of hostility” between us and made us one. That wall of hostility was the natural byproduct of religion gone wrong. It’s the holier-than-thou arrogance of self-righteous religion, and it’s the you-can’t-judge-me pride of godless unbelief. But when we come to the cross, Jesus tears it all down. And He makes peace between us.

Paul talks about that more here in chapter 3 — especially the first half. When he says that Gentiles are heirs together with Israel — members of one body -—that’s what he’s talking about. We’ll focus in on that unity tomorrow. For today, I want to skip ahead to the end of chapter 3, as Paul kneels before God the Father and prays for us. Listen to this in verse 16:

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:16-19).

That prayer is phenomenal. That one is everything. To know the love of Christ. So let’s break it down.

Notice that he prays for God’s strength in our inner being. Working from the inside. And that Jesus will dwell in our hearts — that He would live in us. And that happens — through faith. Faith opens the door to let Him in.

Then He prays that we would be rooted and established in love. Roots. Where do you dig your roots? Picture a huge tree stretching wide and growing strong. I love a good tree. But the real secret is the roots. The roots dig down to find nutrients and water. Roots dig deep and establish the tree firmly to withstand storm and quake.

And Paul wants us rooted and established in love. God’s love.

Men. If you’re trying to figure out who you are from the outside ... if you’re trying hard to be something ... to become some image ... even if that something is “being a good Christian” — you’re watering the fruit. See we could skip all of this and I could tell you how to show strength, courage, integrity, love, kindness, on and on — and you could put on the act for a while. But that’s like tying fruit to your branches. If it’s not who you are — it’s not gonna work.

If you want to make good fruit — don’t worry about the fruit. Dig in your roots. And if you want the fruit of your life to be love — then dig your roots into the love of Christ. When your roots are getting fed the fruit comes naturally. Water the root — not the fruit. And then Paul prays — that we would have power “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”

The love of Jesus is beyond all measure. Think of the largest ocean. I live near the Pacific. My love — and your love — is about the size of your heart. About the same size as your fist. But Jesus’ love ... His love for you ... is greater than all the oceans deep.

Check out this quote from Christian rapper Bizzle.

And God loves you no matter what you struggle with

At least struggle though, don't just give up and quit

Forget how you were born

We were all born in sin

But Christ died for your sin

—Bizzle

And this is where you find your identity.

You are not defined by the way you look.

You are not defined by the lies people tell about you.

You are not defined by pictures or likes or shares or any other meaningless measurement. That’s all marketing. Don’t judge yourself that way — don’t judge others that way.

You are God’s child — chosen and adopted — forgiven, redeemed, restored, and worth dying for. You are loved. You are so loved.

And that defines you. That is where you find your identity.

So Paul goes on to pray that we would…

“…know this love that surpasses knowledge…” (Ephesians 3:19A).

I love that phrase. Man, our knowledge can’t even contain the love of Jesus. But we can know it by experience. The word for knowledge there is like conocer in Spanish. It’s heart knowledge not head knowledge. And he prays that we…

“…may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19B).

Now that is a pretty amazing prayer. And it’s my prayer for you. I mean that. I pray that you would know just how much you are loved. How much we are loved. And I pray that you would dig your roots deep, and know who you are in Him.

For Thought & Discussion:

Question 1: What do you think it means to be “rooted and established in love”?

Question 2: How do you dig in your roots there?

Read Ephesians 3

All verses are quoted from the NIV.