Lent Guide 2023Sample

Friday – Close enemies of connection

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Romans 12:21

A close enemy is opposition, impediment, or threats that aren’t as easily recognisable as a distant enemy. Modesty, for example, is a close enemy of humility. The distant enemy of humility would be the opposite, namely pride.

At first glance, the close enemy is close to the desired quality. The truth is that the close enemy is still an enemy. Even though the enemies can look similar, and it feels like connection is promoted, it actually destroys relationships and leaves us alone and full of pain. We can often feel that there is something wrong with us, that we are being manipulated, or just that something is wrong, but I can’t put my finger on it. Here are a few close enemies of connection:

• Interest is replaced with curiosity and fault-finding, rather than reconciliation and appreciation.
• Courage is replaced with silence and an inability to show pain or fear, often due to a fear of rejection. We wear the mask and pretend that everything is fine.
• Vulnerability is replaced with a performance that would be acceptable to the other person (performing vulnerability). It is to copy words and emotions that we think are suitable rather than talking from the heart.
• Humility is replaced with modesty. Modesty has more to do with a bad self-image and fear. I want to present something that will impress, while it’s not really how I feel.

You are invited to ask God for the gift of discernment in your relationships. Start with yourself and look at the close enemies which could (to an extent, sometimes?) be living with you.

What can you do with these enemies?

Grace:

Lord, I ask for the grace of connection and dialogue in my relationships.