Overcoming HurtSample

Big and Little Wounds

Are you hurt? Have you been through something painful? Maybe it happened this year. You lost a job, experienced heartbreak, were repeatedly criticized by someone, or lost a loved one. Or maybe you were hurt by things that happened in the past: abuse, unmet needs, or rejection from family or friends.

Many things in this world can hurt us. Pain, suffering, loss and grief happen to all of us. I know, personally, how unbearable these things can feel. At school, I was bullied for my weight, for my faith, and for the music I listened to. At home, I could not measure up to my dad’s expectations and constantly faced his anger. I shut down. I started to hate myself. I thought I didn’t fit in anywhere.

Whether it’s from our loved ones, difficult circumstances, sexism, racism, or injustice, we all have wounds. Everyone is created uniquely and responds to painful events differently. Something that deeply hurts one person may hardly affect another at all.

Wounds tend to come in the form of two extremes. The first are “big W” wounds. These are caused by infrequent painful experiences of high intensity, such as sexual or physical abuse, the loss of a parent, a life-threatening situation, or divorce.

The second are “little w” wounds. These are caused by frequent painful experiences of low intensity. This type is more common; all of us have experienced these types of wounds. Maybe someone repeatedly said you’d never measure up in life or communicated that you had to perform to get approval. Maybe you were constantly bullied, controlled, or manipulated. Or maybe a parent was frequently physically or emotionally absent. Such experiences can cause little w wounds. They can affect us just as much as big W wounds.

Identifying and addressing our emotional wounds is a crucial part of discipleship and becoming more like Christ. If we ignore our wounds, this will severely limit our ability to connect with God and others. God wants us to grow and mature in Him; He does not want us to stay emotionally stuck, stagnant, or stunted for the rest of our lives.

God, I recognize my wounds are limiting my ability to connect with You and others. Bring healing to my life and help me to grow more like Christ.