Happily Ever After: Devotions from Time of GraceSample

When You’re Newlyweds: Gentleness

When you feel wounded by your spouse, it sure is hard to manage the adrenaline rush. Who can resist “payback time”? Who can resist “teaching her a lesson”? If you catch yourself thinking (or saying) things like this, realize that very little teaching and learning happen with anger.

You can’t control your partner’s mouth. But you can control yours. Ready for wedding garment #4? “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with . . . gentleness” (Colossians 3:12).

Gentleness means that you will not allow stress in the relationship to escalate. It takes two to fight. You will not allow a misunderstanding to morph into sharp words. You will not let sharp words morph into an argument, an argument into a fight, or a fight into something physical.

Gentleness means that the level of stress stops right here. It means clamping your lips shut so that angry things can’t get out. It means keeping your voice soft. It means asking questions of clarification, assuming that your partner couldn’t have meant anything so hurtful. It means taking a walk around the block before blurting things you will regret later.