How Did I Get Here?

I got in the car once and started to drive with a clear destination in mind. My GPS stopped working along the way. When I finally stopped, I noticed that I was in a place I did not recognize, a place I had no intention of going. My only choice was to try and figure out how I had gotten to this place to begin with. So, I turned the car around and drove back along the road that had gotten me into my mess. It was only in retracing my steps that I found my way back home.

Sometimes you have to go back in order to go forward. When you’re dealing with the pain in your soul, it’s essential to figure out how you got to the place you’re in. What led to the fracture of your faith? 

So how did you get to the place of your pain? 

Disappointed expectations are far too common in the Christian life. Your life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. Your faith was supposed to help you get through the pain. God was supposed to turn things around in your life. Instead, God feels far, and your pain feels deep.

Or maybe it’s God’s people that have let you down. You didn’t see it coming. You opened your heart to them and trusted them. You never imagined that they could hurt you this deeply. Yet you find yourself on the outside of your church family half filled with shame and half filled with pain wondering why God let them get away with it.

Or maybe it’s your dreams that are shattered. You longed to serve God and bring him glory. You tried your best but it just wasn’t enough. It never seems enough. You don’t have enough time. You don’t have enough money. You don’t have enough opportunity. You don’t have enough energy anymore to pursue the dream that now feels a lifetime away. And it hurts.

Or maybe it’s your own failure that caused your pain. You tried your best to live a godly life. While everyone around you talks of transformation, the only thing changing in your life is the weather. You can’t get yourself to do what you tell yourself to do. Your life is one hidden sin after another. You know your hypocrisy and hate it, yet nothing you’ve tried to do has made a difference. Some days, you even wonder if you’re really a Christian. 

No wonder you’re deconstructing. It’s so much easier to let go of the faith you once believed than to try and fix the mess you’re in. 

I know. I’ve been there too. The good news is that there is a way out. There is a way back to faith. It starts by making your way back home where you’ll find the father waiting with arms wide open.