Honest Friends

You might have heard the saying ‘Honesty is the best policy.’ Do you think that’s true? Even if it is, what does it mean? Is it always sharing the truth, even when it might hurt someone? Does it mean being critical of someone in a way that you think, rightly or wrongly, might benefit them? Do we even want to hear ‘honest’ words from our friends?

Jesus is a friend whom we can trust to be honest with us in both challenging and encouraging ways. In Matthew 7:1–5, Jesus warns us against being critical of others. You might think you have great ‘honest’ advice for your friend, but are you giving it for their benefit or yours? Jesus encourages us to first examine ourselves (the “plank” in our own eye) instead of judging someone else, and see if the first person who needs some ‘honesty’ is actually ourselves.

We shouldn’t judge others because it means we’re assuming that we are better than them. Instead, by recognising our own faults, we are humbled, which makes it easier for us to empathise and show love. Only after removing the “plank” in our eye can we humbly and thoughtfully help a friend to do the same – not for our benefit, but for theirs. Honesty might be a good policy, but only after we have been honest with ourselves first.

Here’s what’s amazing about what Jesus has done for us: he has taken all the judgement that should rightly have come to us! There’s no judgement for us.

Questions: 

1. Can you think of a recent time when you’ve judged someone, either in your head or out loud? What motivated you to do that? 
2. It’s easy to compare ourselves with others and then judge them based on those comparisons. Why do you think that’s unhelpful for both you and them? 
3. Instead of judging or sharing ‘honest’ thoughts, what could you do instead in those moments that would encourage your friend?

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, I know that, if I’m being honest, I fall short of what you expect of me in the way I act and when I judge others. Thank you so much that you sent Jesus to take what my sins deserve so that I can be right with you and part of your family instead. Amen.