More Beauty Less MessSample

My daughter stood outside her preschool, hip cocked and one little hand on her waist, grinning broadly. “Oooh, Mommy, I look great in these shorts. Take a picture of me!”  

I appreciated and admired her confidence. I hoped she’d always stay that self-assured, that untroubled by society’s cruel demands that we be size-four statuesque supermodels with perfect hair and thigh-gaps. 

Sadly, years later I watched her confidence crumble. Instead of godly self-assurance, she berated herself daily with insults: “too fat,” “ugly,” and “gross,” convincing herself nobody liked her. She’s none of those things—she’s a stunning young woman, well-liked, with a kind and compassionate heart and a ready smile, a daughter of the Risen King. But when she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t see that.

I can relate. I remember doing the same thing as a teen, and my mom shaking her head watching me scowl at the mirror. “I don’t know why you’re so insecure, Jessica,” she said. “You’re smart, sweet, and absolutely beautiful!”

But I didn’t see it, and it took me a long, long time to realize what my mom knew then, and I know now: I am not my appearance. My looks do not now and never will define me.

Culture may tell us our looks, possessions, profession, or status define us. But as Christians, we don’t belong to the world. We belong to God.

Because of that, we're to please God, not the world and its people. In Galatians 1:10, the apostle Paul asked, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (ESV). Paul made much of the same point King Solomon made when he described the ideal woman in Proverbs 31—one who worries more about God’s regard for her than other people’s.

Scripture says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30 ESV).

When we choose to follow Christ, we must stop worrying about other people’s opinions and perceptions. Our time on earth is fleeting and temporary, and we are in essence “a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14 ESV). But when we cling to what lasts, our identity in Christ, and train our thoughts on the eternal rather than the earthly, we experience transformation. We begin prioritizing, training, and modeling true beauty—Christ-like beauty—and the pursuit of it.

Are you focused more on the world’s mirror or God’s? How can you and your mom or daughter better align your thoughts with God's values and perspective?

~Jessica Brodie