Past Present: Strengthening All RelationshipsSample

No one, no matter how idyllic their past may be, has a story free from distortions. It’s part of the human experience. We are all broken, and we are all beautiful. When we hear the stories of other people, we gain insight into our own stories. Only when we hear the stories of others can we experience new realities and possibilities for ourselves and our futures. . .

I am regularly blown away when I witness the power of sharing and hearing stories. It’s a primary pathway to healing for the people in the relational workshops I teach and the coaching work I do.  It has also figured prominently in my personal healing and growth. When I was growing up, I believed my childhood was normal and average. Most children believe this to be true about their stories because they have little else to compare them to. However, after hearing the stories of many others, I learned that my story—and, in fact, everyone’s story—is far from average. Every story is wildly unique. My story, like yours, has moments of profound exhilaration, delight, and joy, as well as moments of heartache and tragedy.

As a result of hearing other people’s stories, I’ve seen how parts of my own story are beautiful and exceptional. This reality has left me even more grateful to my parents and some of my past teachers for the unique opportunities and formative experiences they provided.

Similarly, as a result of listening to the stories of others, I can see the gaps or problematic parts of my own story. I’ve recognized that, like everyone else, there are painful parts of my story that need a new plot. This concept is vitally important for us to grasp - not to blame our parents, families, schools, and so on, but to make sense of where we find ourselves today. We gather data—the good parts and the broken parts—to both celebrate the good and repair the broken parts of our stories; the roots, that subconsciously contribute to our pain today.