Secrets To Raising Wholehearted KidsSample

BECOMING THE KIND OF PERSON WE WANT THEM TO BECOME

In two decades of going after the hearts of men, the question asked more than any other is, “How do I initiate my son into manhood or usher my daughter into womanhood?” Just below this question is often an unnamed fear, and below that fear is a deeper—often subconscious—question: How do I offer what I do not have to give? 

In contrast, no man has yet asked me how to offer to his kids the substance of who he has already become. I think it’s because that part of parenting is intuitive; for better and for worse, we always offer who we have become. 

Parenting, like everything else in masculine initiation, has no shortcuts. So I want to suggest that the first questions in raising wholehearted children turn right back on us: If I can only lead my child where I’ve gone myself, what’s next in my initiation? What is the frontier of my masculine soul? What is it that I am intimidated to engage, but that I know is essential to wholly enter the life that I was meant to live? 

Thankfully, God is the great Initiator, and our great work is simply and bravely to respond to His particular invitation. When we give Him our yes, we become what we most want to offer. And in becoming, we will find the path to shepherd our children in the way that is good and right for their souls. Only on this path of responding to our Father for the initiation of our hearts as men can we release outcomes in our parenting and find joy in whatever unfolds. For them and for us. 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS 

1. What do you fear your children would say if they were asked to describe you? 
2. At the end of your life, how would you love to have your children describe you? 
3. What’s the next step God is inviting you to risk taking on the way to becoming the man you were meant to become?