Living a Servant MarriageSample

Start with the End

A servant marriage is a response to the calling we all already received the moment we said, “I do.” All the courting, dating, emotional intimacy, quality time, and resources culminated into the primary lifelong relationship we call marriage. 

For some, years or decades may have passed since they received their calling to be married to the one with whom they would be given the privilege of serving alongside on their journey called life. However, in current culture, many couples are getting a quite different result from the happily ever after we have all heard about. Some feel alone or merely tolerated in marriage. Others feel unappreciated or exploited. Still others feel stuck or trapped “until death do us part.” Marriage challenges Christians, and some do not make it—their marriages end in divorce. 

How is it that so many start the race of marriage, but growing numbers of them do not cross the finish line of “until death do us part”? As a Christian counselor working with couples in distress for several decades, I have learned quite a bit over time as I see brave couples address their wounds, bad ideas, unproductive practices and attitudes, and move toward picking up new ideas to change their marriages for the better. 

One of these new ideas is learning that they are servants in their marriage and are responsible for how they believe and behave, and that they will stand before the Lord and give an account of how well they served their spouse—not how well they got served. 

Sometimes it helps to start something new with the end in mind. In the end, I will be accountable to God for how I served my wife. I believe this is a major evaluation point for my whole life. It is as if, in my spirit, I know that one of the major questions in heaven will be, “How well did you treat my daughter, Lisa?” Having this question on my final exam, so to speak, helps me decide how good of a grade I want from God in response to serving my wife, Lisa. 

For more many decades, Lisa and Jesus have poured a lot into me about becoming a servant. 

I want to expose you to the heart of serving. My hope is that, as you work through this plan, you will hear and reflect on these words on a daily basis, “Well done good and faithful servant.” This relates to the amazing servant you have been toward your spouse.