4 Habits Of A Joy-Filled Marriage - A 6-Day Devotional Sample

The Proverbs encourage you to find joy and delight in your spouse and it’s the first habit of a joy-filled marriage.

Habit 1: 

Play Together

I have some good friends who have been married for nearly fifty years. When I told them I was writing a book on the four habits of joy-filled marriages, the man leaned forward in his chair and said, “What’s your first habit?” I could tell by the look in his eyes he knew what he wanted to hear. I said, “Our first habit is playing together.” The man nearly jumped out of his chair. “Exactly!” He was beaming. “You have to play together and keep having fun. We have made that one of the top priorities in our marriage.” It seems to have worked. They have raised twelve kids of their own and served as surrogate parents to dozens of other young people through the years.

I have known this couple for two decades, and they have one of the most joy-filled marriages I have seen and have raised some of the most joyful children I know. One of their secrets was their commitment to having fun together. They built their calendar around family trips. They constantly invited people to their home. We often weren’t the only guests at the table when we visited them. It was clear from being around them that they worked hard and played hard and made relational joy a top priority for their family.

I also couldn’t help but notice that this man was rubbing his wife’s feet as we talked. Next to their faith in God, they both agreed that playing together was the key to being in love after a lifetime together.

Expressing Your Joy: 15 MIN

The brain processes nonverbal cues faster than words. This is why, “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it!” carries so much weight in conversation. As I say in my book Transforming Fellowship,

Eye contact, facial expressions, voice tone, posture, gestures, timing and intensity all contribute to the interactive dance we know as communication. Our body is the canvas to express our thoughts, feelings, desires, fears and our most prized memories. When working together, our brain and body tell a story that shows up on our face and in our voice.

For this exercise, you first engage the nonverbal brain in order to activate joy in your relationship.

1. While cuddling or holding hands, individually think about the first time you met your spouse. What was happening? What were you thinking and feeling?  2 MIN

2. Now, take turns nonverbally “telling” the story about the time you first met your spouse. Using your face, body, motions, and gestures, convey what was happening in the story including what you were thinking and feeling. Be creative and have fun. 4 MIN

3. When you finish your nonverbal story, tell the story again using words while you demonstrate it.  6 MIN

4. Once you both finish telling your stories, spend some time cuddling or holding hands, then discuss what you enjoyed about this exercise. Close with quiet cuddling and resting together.  3 MIN