Girl Defined By Kristen Clark And Bethany BairdSample

Day Three

Counterfeit Femininity

Scripture: Psalm 139:14

The two of us were drinking coffee with a group of girlfriends. Summer was just around the corner, which meant bathing suit season was upon us. In a roundabout sort of way, one of our friends asked if the two of us wore bikinis. I (Bethany) told our friend that Kristen and I had chosen not to do the bikini thing as a result of our personal convictions on modesty. Our friend was not satisfied with my answer. In fact, she seemed very offended by it. She took it upon herself to lecture us on why we should wear bikinis and why we should feel totally comfortable showing off our bodies. She explained that exposing our skin was a sign of confidence and security. 

Our culture pushes us, as women, to welcome a lifestyle built on liberation, independence, and sexual freedom. Most of us have acquiesced to different aspects of each idea at one time or another. But this is counterfeit femininity. 

Counterfeit femininity says that real women are sexy, hot, free, edgy, and wild. Real women aren’t ashamed of their bodies. Real women are confident in showing it all. 

The two of us have a few questions though. If that’s what makes a “real” woman, why are so many sexually free women struggling? Why did the sex icon Marilyn Monroe commit suicide if she had everything the culture says makes a real woman? Why are fashion models notoriously insecure? If sexual freedom is so beneficial, why are women still struggling with feelings of worthlessness? 

We have both found that counterfeit femininity never satisfied us or delivered what it had promised. Women all across the world are experiencing the same thing. They’ve built their lives on the foundation of counterfeit femininity and are unhappy with the results. 

We as Christian women need to take a step back. We need to look at the path sexual freedom takes us down. When we throw our arrows in the wrong direction, we end up with a jumble of feelings—negative ones. Insecurity. Worthlessness. Confusion about beauty. Confusion about sex. Confusion about femininity. It’s time to rethink sex. It’s time to rethink beauty. It’s time to reject counterfeit femininity and refocus our attention on the bull’s-eye: God’s design for us as women.

In what ways have you fallen into the trap of counterfeit femininity?