Messy Beautiful Friendship By Christine HooverSample

Day One

A Fragile Joy

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:12

I certainly have struggled with friendship over the years. I’ve known years of friendship drought. I’ve experienced conflicts in relationships—some of my own making—that have tied my insides in knots. I’ve received wounds so bitter that I’ve retreated to cocoon myself in the false security of isolation. 

But I’ve also experienced deep relationships with other women that have enriched my life beyond measure, pointed me toward Christ, and challenged me to grow. These relationships have taught me that friendship is worth any struggle it takes to discover and deepen.

No matter where your friendships currently are, you’ve probably found that your heart never ceases longing for fulfilling companionship. Friendship seems such a rarity to find and such a fragile joy when we’ve found it, doesn’t it? 

We all want relationships in which we know and are known at the deepest level. We want friendships that point us to grace and truth. Curiously, however, we seem to be standing beside one another, holding identical longings yet resolutely believing we’re alone in them. But the truth is we aren’t actually wandering alone and aimless in a desert; we’re practically tripping over each other as we grasp at our ideal dreams for friendship. 

I’ve wondered at this. If we’re alike in our desires, what keeps us from turning to our left and to our right to cultivate friendship with those around us? 

I have come to believe that our own excuses are one of our biggest obstacles to friendship, but I think there is one greater: we don’t have an understanding of what true friendship is or how God designed it. In the void, we’ve taken up a cultural definition that makes friendship unattainably idyllic and about self: How do other people make me feel? Who is reaching out to me or including me?

As Christians, we must look to the Bible to inform our friendships. Let’s look together to God, in his Word, for our definition and practice of friendship. Spoiler alert: we’ll find that friendship is a by-product of being more concerned with others than ourselves. 

I pray you’ll find what I have discovered in my own life: friendship is messy, but even in its messiness it is beautiful indeed. 

Describe your first deep friendship. What made it important to you?