Healing Along the Masculine JourneyExemplo

Day 4: Lover (in Boyhood it is receiving love, then learning to offer love in the rest of the stages)

To love beauty. To enter into mystery. To know and be known.

That is what my lover’s heart was created for.

Of all the things that the Gospels are, among all the truths, themes, and messages contained in scripture, the single great constant is this: that the larger story is, above all else, a lovestory.

But don’t think that because it is a love story, it is for that reason soft. Rather, that’s what makes it all the more dangerous. The characters in love stories are always on a journey. They must learn to be courageous, must find their strength, and, eventually, must confront and overcome evil. All for love. The Larger Story is no soap opera; it is an epic tale for the ages, and we have each been written a part. In the words of author Brent Curtis, “Our lives are not a random series of events; they tell a Story that has meaning. For above all else, the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. Most Christians have lost the life of their heart and with it, their romance with God.”

So, it is that the questions of earlier stages now make room for a new awakening of the heart. It is this:

If I was created for a sacred romance,

then my true destiny is this:

to love beauty,

to enter into mystery,

to know and be known.

A love story requires lovers. The Lover Stage is foreshadowed in all the earlier stages of the Masculine Journey and once entered, continues as a man becomes a king and, finally, a sage. But while the raw material is there early on, there is a distinct time when the lover in every man’s heart awakens into the Lover Stage and his training begins. Woman is its centerpiece—the wonder and allure of her beauty, outward and inward. And yet the lover stage is about much more and goes far deeper than just loving and romancing a woman.

The warrior stage lays the foundation and provides the proper perspective for the lover stage. That is why, ideally, the warrior comes first. Otherwise, feminine beauty will be approached by a man as a consumable item rather than a gift to be cherished, and he will attempt to get his strength from a woman rather than bring his strength to her. Sadly, this is exactly what happens with most men, and far too many women pay the price, deeply wounded by men who ought to be their protectors, not their consumers.

God invites the man to protect a woman while pursuing a romance with her. This is why nothing is more beautiful than two people walking with God together and why few things are more fragile than two hearts pursuing the thing they were created for: romance with God and romance with each other. It is what we were made for—and so it is what the enemy violently opposes.

In the lover stage, the formative years of Boyhood and explorer make for either good or bad training. A man at this point either is settled through validation and initiation in the ways of the kingdom, or is unfathered, unfinished, and disoriented under the influence of darkness.

Thankfully, healing and restoring the lover in us is the great priority of God, the kindest and fiercest pursuit of our Maker. Our part is to let the Great Romancer catch us—again and again. We receive His love, experience it, so that we can offer love from a place of settled strength.

As you ponder all this with God today, consider asking Him:

Father, how have I lost the life of the heart and with it, my romance with you?

Jesus, would you show me how I was trained for good or for bad into this Lover Stage on my journey?

Spirit, what wounds and agreements are in the way of how I view women, particularly the women in my life? How do you desire for me to get these wounds and agreements out of the way?