Loving Through ListeningSample

Silence is Golden

How do you feel when there is silence in a conversation? Does it feel awkward or uncomfortable? Do you feel a need to fill it with words and conversation? This might be something to be curious about in your own story.

Pay attention to moments when you might be feeling the need to say something because the silence feels awkward, or you want to rescue the other (and yourself!). The person you are sitting with may need a few minutes of silence to process their thoughts and feelings. They may not be used to being attuned to and listened to this way, and it might take some time to adjust to it.

What if we learn to be okay with silence?

May we be attuned to the Spirit in each moment, knowing what is needed and what is not. Take this time of quiet in conversation to also check in with yourself and the Spirit: Where are you feeling their story in your body? What emotions come up? Pictures? Words?

May we be asking even as we breathe: What does this person need right now, Spirit of God?

Spirit of God, would you bring me to a place where I am settled enough to be comfortable sitting in the silence.

In this final day of our Loving through Listening Reading Plan, let’s recap the big ideas:

• When we listen and attune well, we create an environment for healing, extending the loving presence of God to those with whom we are in conversation.
• Our stories and emotions matter, to each of us, and to God.
• When we bear witness to each other’s stories, we each feel less alone.
• The very ways we are accustomed to responding and used to think most helpful in listening can actually be harmful and isolating: drawing attention to our own story as it relates to theirs, bulldozing recklessly, offering advice and bible verses, with quick promises to pray for them. Often these are attempts to feel less uncomfortable with their pain and move on from what feels difficult to sit with. This can impair their journey toward healing and restoration!
• Asking open-ended questions allows the person to stay in their story and feel seen, known, and cared for well.
• Listening and naming what you observe in their story offers a mirror for the person to see their story with fresh eyes, and permission to feel now what they couldn’t then.
• Leaning into the silence in the conversation rather than shying away from it creates space for engagement. In those moments, ask the Spirit to guide both of your hearts and words as you continue.

As you ponder all this with God today, ask Him:

Father, what is my relationship with Silence? How do I feel in the silence?

Jesus, will you reveal to me why I may struggle with silence? Where does it come from? What is the source of the discomfort or fear of silence for me?

Spirit, I invite you to awaken me to moments in my story where silence was not welcomed? Where it was avoided, and Why? Help me be curious about the discomfort silence might bring for me.

Continue your exploration of Loving Through Listening:

The full version of our Guide to Extravagant Listening is included in The Deepening Journey available at The Deepening Journey | Zoweh .