Completely Single: Learning to Become the Right OneSample

HEART: It's hard to love with a hurt heart

“Damien, you needed to have your heart broken.” These are the very words my late father spoke to me after a relationship I was in went south. Encouraging, huh? I did not think it was the appropriate time to hear this from my father at all. Let me not forget, he was a Pastor and well-known marriage counselor and professor at the time as well. Even though I was taken aback by his comment, this was the very unadulterated truth I needed to receive to start taking charge of my relational life and better dictate who would have access to my heart again from that point forward.

I want to ask you, “how is your heart?” If you are reading this and you have been involved in any type of relationship whether family, platonic, or even romantic, your heart has been vulnerable at some point in that relationship. In a broken world, we have broken people who hurt loved ones unintentionally, or even intentionally, on a regular basis. Offense and pain are inevitable. Does this mean we should not enter into a relationship because there's no hope? No, not at all.

When I have a challenge in my life that I can’t figure out, I try to see if the Bible has something to teach me on the subject. Have you ever been rejected before? Have you ever been abandoned in a relationship or even abused? Guess what, Jesus has as well. I am not saying that it was right or even fair that those things happened to you. I am sorry those things happened to you because I know it hurts. I’ve been there several times myself. I am also not telling you that you should expect that to happen in every relationship. However, I am saying that Jesus understands and so we should lean into Him whenever we are experiencing these difficult moments and even take responsibility when we are the ones who are causing the heartbreak.

Remember we are seeking to become the right one before meeting the right one. So we have to look in the mirror at ourselves and see what we can work on first. I just love Isaiah 53:3 and the prophetic picture of Christ. I often run back to this scripture for comfort. It says, “He was despised and rejected — a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.” (NLT)

He was rejected so we do not have to accept rejection. Even if someone rejected you, Christ will never reject you. Now I am not denying that some of these situations ever happened to you. Using our faith is not the absence of reality, that is actually fantasy. However, true faith encourages us to say, “despite what happened to me, I am going to trust God that He is working all things out for my good. I will forgive those who have treated me wrong and I am going to repent for any action I have taken because I am maturing in God." Now, if we have this new perspective, we will start to have profitable interactions with those we call family, friends, or love interests. Friend, it's hard to love with a hurt heart. It's time to let God in and heal it.

Say this prayer with me. Father, thank You for my heart. Help me heal from the past and move forward with You. I forgive those who have hurt me and I repent for hurting those I love. Your Son was rejected, despised, and even abandoned on the cross so I can have a relationship with You. Thank You for sending Your Son. I love You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.