Godly Dating 101 Discovering the Truth About Relationships in a World That Constantly LiesSample

Connected for Purpose

Dating has become a very popular pastime in today’s generation. Many people date not because they believe it’s what God desires for their future but simply out of boredom—they need something to do. Marriage isn’t the goal in mind; it just seems as though they should be dating. Pregnancy isn’t the goal, but they are in bed together. A future together isn’t what they’re praying for; they just don’t like being alone.

Two of the most important decisions we will ever make on this earth are surrendering our lives to Jesus and choosing the person to marry. When we started to take eternity seriously, many of us became born again (John 3:5). We started allowing God to free us from various sins and issues we used to wrestle with. Still, I think we often take our relationships lightly, as if they are meaningless. Is that what God intended?

Every person you meet serves a purpose in some way. They take you in some direction. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to tell why certain people are in our lives. Society has always encouraged us to find that picture-perfect person to date—someone who meets all our physical expectations and helps us make the most beautiful children. There’s so much more to dating: we need to approach it with our destination in mind. We need a relationship rooted in purpose.

Can I (Tovares) be honest? There was a time when I felt like a loser because I was single. It’s not that singleness is a curse; I found it to be a blessing. My problem was that all my boys used to make fun of me because they were sleeping around, and I wasn’t. It caused some insecurities that I couldn’t shake for some time. I started aiming for relationships for two reasons: I wouldn’t get made fun of and could have fun without marriage in view.

Whatever the reason you desire marriage, you ought to have someone who can add to your life. Remember, God looked at Adam and realized he needed a helper (Genesis 2). Many problems arise when we find someone who isn’t actively helping us become who God called us to be. A counterfeit may bring happiness for a moment, but your relationship will bring you closer to God and true joy when God is the One who sends someone.

When it comes to dating, if we don’t consider why we’re connecting with someone, we are destined to end up in the arms of someone God didn’t send. Not because we are foolish or don’t love God, but because our emotions can’t lead us the way only God can.

Remember, if you are like I was and charmed by looks, Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” That goes equally for both men and women. If all someone sees in you is your beauty, you can be sure that the love will fade as the beauty fades. A relationship built on emotions cannot stand through trials and temptations, but someone who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

When I (Safa) was studying in college, those were some of the most tedious moments of my life. I felt I had to study biomedical science while others could slack off because of my difficult major. When everyone was watching movies or at every sporting event, I would be catching up on my homework. I knew that to excel, I would have to stay focused on my grades more than anything else.

As much as I am embarrassed to admit it, there were many times I would study to pass the test rather than to understand the material. After graduation, you’re expected to apply the information you just learned, especially if you’re in a field like medicine or engineering, but you won’t be able to do that if you mishandle your season of learning.

We often forget about the true purpose of marriage, which explains why we mishandle the season of singleness. I aimed to be intentional during my single season when I was single. There were many opportunities to date, but I focused more on growing spiritually before a relationship, discovering my calling, ensuring I took my college education seriously and spending time connecting with friends. I desired not to waste my singleness or think my life’s purpose began after “I do.” Remember, the main focus of marriage should always be giving glory to God, not discovering yourself. It should be a union built on purpose instead of feelings.

First Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” When we focus on bringing glory to God, we won’t settle for what’s convenient. If you are single in today’s culture, I know it can be somewhat exhausting. You’re probably feeling left out. Everyone appears to be in a relationship. Even your neighbor’s pet dog gets attention while you’re alone. When you know your worth, settling isn’t an option. When you know that your mindset is pleasing God, that will surely narrow your options away from those who are simply seeking fun. When we keep a kingdom mindset, we choose not to settle for someone who catches our eye, but we desire the type of relationship that builds our spirit and helps us get closer to our purpose. Our main goal must be purpose, not passion.

We desire for you to pursue Christ above all. Being married is amazing, but it won’t fulfill us if we aren’t in alignment with what God desires for us. As you pursue His will, don’t allow culture or emotions to rush you off course.

Respond

Are you married or in a Godsent relationship? Tell God’s story of your relationship.

If you are in a season of singleness, describe your relationship with God as you look to Him to lead you to the person He designed for you.

Prayer

Precious Father, I trust You with every aspect of my life. I know the plan You have for me is perfect, and I long to live every day in the middle of Your will. Prepare me for the places and, most especially, the people you have for me. May Your name be glorified!