Aftershock - Can I Trust My Emotions?Sample

Your Emotions Matter

When the tsunami of your husband’s sexual exploits slams into you, you may feel as if you’re spiraling out of control, or like you want to strike back.

Whatever you’re feeling, it’s important to realize that your emotions matter. They are powerful and unpredictable. And they’re normal. They also need your attention. Your feelings may shift from one extreme to another without warning.

Your emotions are neither right nor wrong. In fact, they can be your best friends if you pay attention to the messages they’re attempting to convey. Think of your emotions as flashing lights on the dashboard of your car that let you know something is wrong. If you understand what a light means, you know what the problem is and can attend to it. How you respond to the light determines what happens to your car and, more importantly, to yourself as the driver.

The same is true for you. A light is flashing on the dashboard of your heart. Powerful emotions are battling for your attention. You might feel anger and sadness at the same time. Or anxiety may have you in its grip. The flashing light is telling you to attend to what is going on inside you. How you respond to the aftershock of your husband’s pornography use will determine how well you’ll manage your life in the weeks and months ahead.

Right now, you may feel no ability to respond to your erratic emotions with any control. You can’t be expected to respond well to the terrible news you’ve just received. It’s not uncommon for women to act out of their emotions, which often results in poor decision-making. You might feel compelled to do something, but don’t do anything drastic or make any important long-term decisions right now. And while you may want to spend some time alone or shut yourself away in your room, don’t isolate yourself from family and friends.

Stop for a moment and take a few deep breaths. You will get through this. Help is on the way!

Next, we’ll look at how to manage your emotions.