Calming AngerSample

Know Your Triggers 

Anger isn’t a sin, it’s just a sign. And when you see a sign, you need to pay attention. The sign is trying to tell you something important. 

God created us to need security, connection, and a sense of control (free will). But he wanted us to get those needs met directly from him. Sin messed that up, but Jesus reconnected us to God through his sacrifice and forgiveness. With the relationship restored, we have access to all we need in God. So, when we start getting angry about not getting our need met from someone or something around us, it’s a sign pointing us to an area we need to surrender to God, the only one who can really meet that need. 

Because of our past experiences and upbringing, we usually have one area of security, connection, or control that makes us super sensitive. When we don’t have it, or it seems like we are being threatened in that area, we just react. 

We need to know ourselves and what makes us angry. Thomas a Kempis said, “A humble knowledge of thyself is a surer way to God than a deep search after learning.”  

That’s what King David was talking about in today’s verse when he says: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. (Psalm 139:23, NIV)

Keep a piece of paper handy today and whenever you feel yourself getting angry,  after you calm down, write down what was happening when you started getting angry. See if you can connect it to feeling threatened in security, connection, or control. Keep track of your angry moments and you’ll start to see a pattern. 

When you know patterns of what makes you angry, you can either avoid those kinds of situations, or, if you can’t avoid the situation, you can go in mentally prepared. (I always have to give myself a pep talk before driving in rush hour traffic.) 

Know your triggers and you’ll soon find your angry episodes will become fewer and fewer. And, in the process, you’ll be looking to God more, the true source of your security, connection, and control.