Calming AngerSample

Calm the Roaring Lion of Anger

I was a few cars back at a stoplight recently and the light turned green, but nobody moved. I patiently waited for 1.7 seconds, then I laid on my horn. Why are we not moving?! The guy in front of me offered a conciliatory gesture with his middle finger. I kept honking. Then I saw it: An older gentleman was rolling across the intersection as fast as he could in a wheelchair.

I felt foolish. I didn’t have all the facts; I just reacted. I felt a threat to my sense of control over the situation. Laying on that horn made me feel like I was doing something—back in control—but I regretted it in the end.

I’ve learned the hard way that it’s best to approach situations that are making us angry like a paranoid cat—cautiously, tiptoeing, with eyes wide open. Assume there is something happening behind the scenes that you don’t realize. You can turn into a lion later, if needed. But if you go in roaring like a lion, without all the facts, you could end up looking really foolish or can make the situation even worse by creating anger and hurt in those around you.

King Solomon says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1, NIV) Anger tends to stir up more anger. But responding in the opposite spirit—with gentleness and calmness—brings peace. It can be hard to stay calm when we get angry, but if we want to bring peace we have to choose our words carefully when we get angry. But to choose your words, you have to step away, slow down, and calm down. 

When you feel yourself getting angry today, rather than reacting, start by asking: What am I not understanding about this situation? You’ll probably find there are some details you didn’t know. If things really are what you thought, you’ll be able to approach it with a gentle and controlled response, which means you’ll have a much better chance of resolving the situation in a healthy way.