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Ministering With Grace to the Divorced

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Respond with Grace

“(Jesus) said, ‘All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!’” (John 8:7).

In John 8, we read that while Jesus was teaching in the Temple courts, he was interrupted by the religious leaders of Jerusalem. They brought a woman, probably shaken and disheveled, who was accused of adultery. The leaders’ accusation was serious. If Jesus upheld the law and ordered the woman stoned, he would risk incurring the wrath of the crowd. But if he took the woman’s side, he would risk being accused of not following the law of Moses. Either way, he would be caught in their trap.

Like these accusers, the church has often continued to treat divorced people as if this were the ultimate sin. But this is not the heart of God. Whenever we meet anyone who we think has fallen, what Jesus did next can remind us to check our attitude. Jesus said, “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (8:7). The men began to go away one by one.

In the end, only Jesus, the woman, and the watching crowd remained. Jesus then forgave her – “Neither do I condemn you” – and renewed her moral purpose – “Go now and leave your life of sin” (8:11). When we continuously remind a divorced or divorcing person that “God hates divorce,” people often hear “God hates the divorcee.” More likely than not, the person is already going through excruciating feelings of personal failure and regret. We don’t need to beat a person who is already down.

Jesus shows us another way. Jesus shows us that, without condoning sin, we can show grace and offer people forgiveness and a fresh start. Of all places, the church should be the place where people find grace. After all, “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners,” so we are a community saved by grace (Romans 5:8).

Reflection

Make a list of moments when you have recently experienced God’s grace in your life. Praise and thank him for that grace. As you consider the friends and/or family who are wrestling with a divorce that you identified, make a list of some practical things you could do to express acceptance and grace to them without condoning sin. Identify one that you will commit to doing in the next week.

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Ministering With Grace to the Divorced

Many good people have been wounded by spouses they loved, only to be further wounded by their communities and churches. Is “God hates divorce” really all we have to say to them? Let this devotional equip you to minister with grace to those wounded by divorce.

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