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New Name

God gives us hints throughout our Christian life as to who we are. Some of those hints are very uncomfortable. The hints are uncomfortable because often there is a separation between what we know and what we actually believe.

God gave me hints about who He created me to be. I knew it was possible. I even could identify areas in my life that I could point to and know He was right. But I didn’t believe it in my heart. My new name is “Powerful.” At first, it felt like a heavily starched shirt. Isn’t that too much? How could my father give me a name that was the exact opposite of what I felt and believed? You see, the wounds from my father and from others throughout my childhood, especially that deep memory that God had revealed, had all deceived me and led me to believe that I was powerless.

I was very small growing up. Skinny. Awkward. Our family had very little income so most of my things were handed down and well used. The deep memory that I had forgotten was being put into a trash barrel by an older boy when I was around six. He put the lid on and left me there. I was terrified in the darkness and confined space. I WAS POWERLESS. When I was bullied and beat up, I was too small to defend myself. I WAS POWERLESS. When I became an adult and started my career, inevitably I found myself in situations of powerlessness. I WAS POWERLESS.

However, the powerlessness was placed on me by the brokenness of others. It was their wounds and beliefs about themselves that led to the wounds I received. And it is in that realization that I embraced my new name. I am powerful because I am the brother of Jesus Christ. I am a son and heir of God the Father. I have an ever-present counselor and protector, the Holy Spirit. I am powerful because I am breaking the cycle of woundedness in my family’s story. I am powerful because I am surrendered to Christ. I am powerful because God my Father has rescued me and established in me who He says I am.