Confessions of God's People Stuck in the Middleနမူနာ

Confessions of a Bitter Widow - Naomi

God,

I don't even know why I bother praying right now. I know you made me, saved me, but I question if you love me.

I don't understand why Elimelek had to die. He was the love of my life. Sure, he wasn't perfect. He often got on my last nerve and drove me crazy, but he was my other half. We walked through so much together. After the funeral, everyone was so kind at first, bringing me gifts and offering kind words, but that's long over now.

Even after our two sons died, it was like my heart was already broken and numb to the pain. As I watched their two sweet wives grieve, it was almost as if I was grateful that someone else was hurting as much as I was. Of course, I am heartbroken about losing my two beautiful boys; my grief was so consuming that I couldn't even process the loss of my sons.

I kept telling myself, "If I could just get back to Judah, back where we are from, everything would be alright." I had to put on a brave face since Ruth insisted on coming with me. I am glad she did, or I may have just given up and taken my life on the journey home. Taking care of her kept my mind sane, but coming home fixed nothing.

I am not the same woman. I won't even let anyone call me Naomi. I am Mara now because you have made my life very bitter. We had so much hope as a young family off on an adventure when I left. I trusted you, Lord, and now, you have brought me back empty. You have caused misfortune on me. It is all your fault.

A Bitter Widow

My daughter Naomi,

You do not need to hide your emotions or pretend you are not brokenhearted. I am here. I am listening. I love that you talk to me, even in your bitterness. Your loyalty is what I have always loved about you.

Cast all your cares on me, even if it seems all my fault. It is not in my plan for wives to lose their husbands or children. Your daughters-in-law should not know that kind of pain and suffering.

My kingdom has no death, mourning, crying, and pain. I will wipe every tear from your eyes. I am close to the brokenhearted, and I will heal your injured heart. I am using you as part of my brand story. What others don't want, I use. I love you, and I will be the lover of your soul, the strength of your heart, and all that you need.

Your Heavenly Father

*There are recommended Bible passages today that will tell part of Naomi's story. If you have the time, consider reading all four chapters of the book of Ruth, where you'll find Naomi's whole story.