Young Adults + Our Storiesनमुना

Pornography & Sexual Temptation: Tyler's Story

When I became a teen, I started struggling with pornography. Everyone at school, especially my guy friends, acted like it wasn’t a big deal. They would share photos and joke around. Even though I rarely went to church, I still didn’t feel right about it. Each time I viewed it, I felt guilty.

After graduation, I made a community college basketball team and got to know the other players. I became friends with a guy who acted differently than the others. He was still fun to hang out with, but he wouldn’t join in on the jokes about girls and didn’t really cuss. He had a girlfriend and told us they weren’t having sex.

Eventually, he invited me to his church college group. People were friendly and not like I was expecting. We broke out into groups of just guys, and the leader talked about sexual temptation. He admitted he had been engaged in this lifestyle even though he was brought up in a strict Christian home.

He said that even from a secular perspective, pornography creates an addiction that can hurt your relationships with women and the way you view them. He also shared Bible verses about why God intends us to have pure thoughts and how we should confess what we’re going through to a leader we trust who will help us walk through it.

I met up to have coffee with this guy and share my problem. I felt shame, but he was kind. He told me more of his own story. He gave me resources and challenged me to read those and more scriptures. He gave examples of many people in the Bible who messed up, yet God forgave them.

The changes in my life didn’t happen overnight, but as I studied the science behind sexual struggles and addiction, I began to rewire my brain. I continued to meet with this college group leader. He encouraged me and prayed with me. I learned that some people in the church even went to professional counseling for help in this area.

Around this time, I met a girl in the college group, and we began dating. From the beginning, she made it clear what her physical boundaries were and that she wasn’t having sex until marriage. Her boldness and beliefs struck me. I liked her a lot — enough to know I would do everything to respect her. We’ve now been dating for a year, and while temptation still comes, we try to avoid those situations, we mostly hang out with people who are good influences, and we do a Bible app plan together. It’s been a hundred percent worth it, and now I get to talk to younger guys about how to work through these struggles.

Pray Over Your Story

Dear God, I've been struggling with this issue. Sometimes, I doubt and think it's not a big deal since that's what others around me do, or it's simply too difficult to fight. Please help me grow in my relationship with you so that I can also grow in this area and resist temptation. Change my thoughts to pure thoughts. Bring a mentor or friend into my life that I can talk to. Thank you for forgiving me and loving me.