The Marriage Devotional: 5 Days to Strengthen the Soul of Your Marriageनमुना

Marriage: The Role of a Lifetime

Levi and Jennie

One of the trickiest parts of marriage is figuring out what roles you’re going to play in your daily lives together—who is responsible for what, who takes the lead on what. It’s a lifetime project. But one thing we don’t have to be confused about is the role of marriage in the world as God meant it. Your role as husband and wife together is significant, and the Bible tells us a lot about its key components.

First, as today’s verse tells us, your role together in marriage is to be united.

Think for a moment about the word unity. In Hebrew, to be united means “to designate exclusively or to concentrate fully.” So being united as husband and wife is coming together—exclusively—with no one else in the mix. It’s an exclusive, set-apart relationship. It’s a concentrated effort.

In our home we talk about being on the same team. When we’re arguing or have an issue, we remind each other: “Same team.” That’s unity. Or to put it another way, we are on the same ship. This is not like the game Battleship, where we’re trying to sink each other’s ship and destroy each other. We are on the same ship, a relationship of doing life together and fighting forward together.

The unity of marriage is also demonstrated in the sexual unity of husband and wife. Today’s verse says that the two of them “become one flesh.” This tells us that sex inside of marriage is a beautiful gift. It’s saying, “I give myself completely and exclusively to you. I belong completely and exclusively to you. I am united with you.”

And this sexual love ought to be enriching. After a while, as the excitement of newness fades, this intimate love is meant to grow. Sex is meant to be enjoyed in a man and woman’s exclusive

relationship for their lifetimes. There’s such a beauty of growing in that. Sexual intimacy with your spouse should be enriching, and it should be all about giving, not taking.

So first, your role together as a married couple is to be united. Second, your role is to be vulnerable.

Genesis 2:25 tells us that Adam and Eve “were both naked, and they felt no shame.” God’s original design for us was to walk naked and unashamed—being fully open, fully vulnerable, fully intimate with each other. Can you imagine being in a place with your spouse where there’s no shame or guilt? Just walking naked with your spouse in a beautiful garden God designed? That’s literally what we were meant to do. To walk together with God. Everything open and out. Nothing hidden. Nothing secret. Nothing shameful. Enjoying that intimacy with God and with our spouse.

Vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Imagine your marriage as a place where you can share everything—your dreams, what matters to you, all that is in your heart. A safe place to invite your spouse to share their dreams, their heart, and where they are in life. A space where you both feel the freedom to ask hard questions and reveal deep parts of yourself. To know and feel known in the truest way. That is intimacy.

Third, along with being united and being vulnerable, the role of marriage is to be an example to the world.

Our ultimate role as a married couple is to show the world a beautiful picture of Jesus and the church—a loving, intimate, united relationship (Ephesians 5:25–33). When I think about the people in our church, I immediately think of some incredible married couples who give us a beautiful picture of Jesus and the church. They’re not perfect. They have issues. But the way they love each other, work through things together, and honor each other is so beautiful. It’s inspiring, and it fills everyone who watches them with hope. And that is part of the purpose of marriage.

Your marriage points to the greater marriage that’s going to happen in the future, when Jesus will marry His bride, the church. And as Christians, that’s who we are. We're His bride. The Bible tells us about the wedding supper of the Lamb, where we will get to celebrate and be with Jesus forever (Revelation 19:6–9). We’ll get to be with Him face-to-face. There will be no more saying goodbye. There will be no more death, sorrow, or sadness. There will be only celebration for the rest of our lives in heaven, together, because of Jesus. It will be the best wedding imaginable!

In the meantime here on earth, we get to see marriages restored—through Jesus and through the church. We get to see marriages strengthened, and we celebrate people meeting each other and getting married. Over and over again, marriages show us new things about Jesus. So until He comes again, our roles and privilege in marriage are meant to involve being united, vulnerable, and a living example of what it is to be loved by God. And it’s the role of a lifetime.

Bring it Home

How might the idea of being on the same ship—not separate battleships—change the way you and your spouse have disagreements?

Think about the idea of your sexual union in marriage growing, deepening, maturing, and enriching over time as you give to each other. What might you do to ensure things are going in this direction?

What do you think about the idea of marriage being an example of Jesus’ love for the church, His bride? What does this kind of love look like in your marriage? In what ways could you grow in this?

Operation Vulnerable

Plan a date night where you do an activity neither of you have ever done before—one that comes with a learning curve. It might be some kind of dance or sports class, or something crafty or creative.

As (or after) you try the new thing and mess up, talk about what it means to be imperfect and vulnerable, and discuss the kinds of things that make you feel that way.

Observe how you try to protect yourself in new or uncomfortable situations, and then relax in the company of the person you can be vulnerable and real with.

Prayer

Father, show us how to pursue You more as a couple. There is a bigger picture of Your design for marriage in unity, vulnerability, and loving relationship with You. We say yes to the role You designed for our marriage to show the world Your love. In Jesus’ name, amen.