Parenting “The Impossible Kid” With Love and Graceनमुना

When you have an impossible kid, sometimes the biggest challenge is just staying engaged and not checking out due to frustration. One day, when my daughter was a teenager, I invited her to join me: “Hey, Monica, you want to come with me and hang out and get coffee?” 

“We aren’t getting along right now. Why would you want me to go with you?” 

“If I had stayed away from you every time we weren’t getting along or you were being snotty, I would have missed half of your childhood.” 

We both laughed. 

No one does parenting perfectly. Even the perfect parent wouldn’t be the perfect parent—there’s no such thing. Listen to what famous American psychologist Carl R. Rogers is quoted as saying: “What I am is good enough if I could only be it openly.” 

As a parent, “good enough” is enough because being perfect isn’t good enough. We need to lean on grace—grace for our children and grace for us. 

Grace is love when we don’t deserve it. 

Grace is kindness given toward rebellion. 

Grace is being loved when you are unlovable. 

Grace comes when we are broken and can offer nothing in return. 

Grace is a gift. 

Grace points our kids to God who lavishes us abundantly and freely with grace. 

We can’t earn grace.

We all fall short. 

When we take our messes to God, He wraps His arms around us and says, “It’s okay. We will get through this together.” 

We all yearn for parents in our lives who love and support us no matter what—someone to be a picture of God’s love for us that says no matter what you do, no matter what you say, even if I disagree with you, I still love and support you. 

When we love and fully accept our children through their junk, we are taking them straight to the heart of God. 

It’s called grace. 

So what? As you practice your parenting keep “The Golden Rule” (Matthew 7:12) in mind. Extend the same grace God extends to you. 

Dear God, help me to be the parent my child needs today. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and with unending grace.