Parenting “The Impossible Kid” With Love and Graceनमुना

My kids were in church from the time they were infants. I mean, isn’t that what will ensure and secure their faith? Somehow, if I followed God “just right” then my kids would choose God, choose faith. 

Even so, while raising my kids I had an underlying fear that they would one day reject Jesus Christ. Can you relate to this fear? It can paralyze you as a parent and hinder your walk with the Lord. 

Just as God gives us grace to choose, we parents can lead our kids to Jesus Christ, but it is their choice. We can’t save our kids, only God can. We are all saved by grace—not by the guiding of our parents. 

“As long as I do everything right, then my kids will turn out okay.” That was my unspoken and subliminal internal belief. 

And it may be yours. 

The problem with this is we are leaving out free choice. The same free choice God gives every single one of His creations. We do not have control over our children’s choices. You can do everything just right, and still, your child can choose to walk away from God or make what we deem really poor life choices. Thinking you somehow have control over your child’s destiny is crazy-making and puts undue pressure on yourself. 

I know; I’ve been a part of crazymaking.

What I’ve learned to do is first recognize I can’t. I can’t control what my kids say and do. Second, acknowledge God can. God, the Almighty King of heaven and earth, is working and will care for my kids better than I can. And third, I’m giving it all to Him. God can carry the load; I can’t. 

This is peacemaking. 

So what? Recognize that you can’t carry it all. Reconcile you can’t control your child’s actions. Acknowledge God can carry it all. Trust God will take care of your children. Hand it all—your concerns, your fears, your doubts—to God and let Him carry it all. Rest in God and have peace. 

Dear God, help me to hand you my fears, my failures, my children, and trust You will carry me.