Battle-Weary Parents for Parenting in CrisisParaugs

DAY THREE: You Can’t Do It Alone

It was Thanksgiving Day, but truthfully, there was little that I felt thankful for. Instead of enjoying a delicious meal with my family, I was driving alone on the interstate, angry at God, exhausted, and lacking what I thought was a proper heart-position to pray. In that moment, instead of my normal word-based and faith-filled prayers, I just spoke honestly with God. “I can’t do this. You can’t ask any more of me. I’m done.” Then I cried. And then I cried a little more. In the deepest part of my soul, I felt broken, and I had absolutely nothing left. It was one of my most heartbreaking moments as a parent. A child that I so desperately loved was deeply lost in rebellion, bitterness, and anger; her behaviors were scary and completely out of my control. I felt alone, abandoned by God, and insecure in my own ability to handle the situation. 

That day I learned that there are dark moments of the soul where the strength to put on a good face fades away, and all you’re left with is raw, brutal emotion. It’s in that moment, when the bottom completely falls out, that every prayer, every ounce of faith, and every quiet moment in scripture that I’d sown over time became a life raft that held me afloat. I had nothing new to give, nothing new to pray, and not a single scripture to hold onto. The only thing real to me was hurt, anger, worry, and failure. 

I drove home numb. I crawled into my bed and called three specific friends and told each of them the whole truth about what was going on and asked them to pray on my behalf. In complete honesty, I said, “I don’t have any prayers left. I have no words. All of the strength I have left in me is needed just to deal with tomorrow.” Each of them said the same thing, “Go to bed. Rest. As a mom, pay attention to what only you as a mom can. I will cover you in prayer.” As the days and weeks passed, these three precious friends covered our family in prayer. They shared scripture and promises with me daily which gave me hope and encouragement. God truly used them to provide our family with comfort in affliction, and on His word, we were able to hope. 

As my strength returned, I was able to see God’s mercy and care for me in the precious loyalty of my friends. This experience was a vivid reminder to me that we aren’t called into this journey alone. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with trusted companions around us, God can use them to bring us strength and comfort in the midst of our sorrow. Going through crisis alone is a recipe for disaster, both for you and for your children. 

When we’re in crisis, we’re vulnerable and weak. In those moments, it’s easy to lose hope and feel like God has abandoned us. These moments require someone who can come alongside you to remind you of God’s promises, His Word, and the hope that you have in Him. Don’t ever go through crisis alone. It will wreck you and take you out. Call trusted friends, and as my friend, Chrissy says, “Tell them the truth. The good, the bad, and the disgustingly ugly truth.” Give them the opportunity to encourage you, cover you, and help. God’s word through caring friends will be your greatest comfort in affliction. You can’t do it alone.

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I encourage you to spend time with your spouse (or a trusted friend if you're single) to answer the following questions. 

Discussion Questions – DAY THREE: You Can’t Do It Alone

1. Have you ever reached a place where, as Pam describes, you have no prayers or words left? How did you get through it? How did it change your relationship with God?

2. Read Romans 8:26-27. The Holy Spirit clearly makes allowance for us in times when we’re too weak to even know how to ask God for what we need. Why is it a challenge to trust His presence in these moments? 

3. How does the idea that He is present with you and understands your weariness change the way you view God’s provision in your struggle?

4. What is one thing you can do this week to invite someone else to join you in prayer and support? Write down three specific people that you want to trust with the truth—the good, the bad, and the disgustingly ugly truth.