The Mental Mindset of Mary, Martha & Meಮಾದರಿ

DEMANDINGNESS v PATIENCE

Has anyone ever got in your face and demanded you do something? Generally, it’s never done politely and not responded to positively.

Martha enters Jesus’ space and demands, “Tell her to help me.” Some of you would have responded, “Don’t tell me what to do! You tell her!”

We know that Martha’s narrative was one of believing that Jesus didn’t care. The stories she told herself fuelled a frustration that grew to a grave injustice in her mind, and the fruit of that resulted in demandingness. She placed her own needs above her sister’s.

We know that lies can drive fearful beliefs, causing you to conclude that your needs are unimportant to anyone else and that you must stand up and fight for what is yours. However, being demanding is a destructive behavioral choice, as it often results in others digging in their heels, so the power struggle is activated. Jesus, however, doesn’t enter that power struggle. Instead, Jesus is patient with Martha. This reveals His character and a hope for us to hold onto.

In 2 Peter 3, the King James Version uses the word “longsuffering”, giving us a deeper insight into understanding God’s patience with us. The biblical description is “to not lose heart, to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others, to be slow to anger and slow to punish.” WOW. Thank goodness for God’s patience when dealing with us. Despite our emotional blowouts, He still desires to connect with our hearts and show us grace.

2 Peter 3:9: The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

I am so glad that Love is patient with us.

Mary reveals patience towards her sister. If you have grown up with siblings, then you know how easy it is to not show patience towards them, especially when they don’t deserve it. Patience is a product of time in His presence. I know the more I spend time with Jesus, the more I experience the fruit of patience in my heart towards others. I know we have no evidence of Mary’s response to Martha after her blowout, but I would like to assume that Mary’s patience towards her sister was also due to the impact of Jesus on her heart.

Staying calm in the face of any attack is not easy. It reveals a foundation of security in knowing who you are, which is based on whose you are. Mary was secure in her identity and position in Christ.

DEEP WATER QUESTIONS

• Reflect on moments when you have become demanding towards others. What was the need you were trying to meet?
• In what way did your demandingness backfire on what you hoped for?
• Reflect on the fear and emotion behind the need to be in control.

PRAY

Lord, I pray that as I invite you into my broken and needy spaces, your patience will empower me to respond in love and not demandingness. Forgive me for the times I have tried to control others, and teach me to walk in your ways.