The Mental Mindset of Mary, Martha & Meಮಾದರಿ

THE POWER STRUGGLE

There is a Mary and a Martha in all of us… some more Martha than Mary. Often, the first thought that enters women’s minds when the story of Mary and Martha comes up is the power struggle and the question of which sister was right. Many want to draw a distinct competitive line between the two characters, as though one is better.

The fact that our minds go into a power-struggle competitive comparison mode reveals a root problem that this reading plan ultimately seeks to reveal and unpack. It reveals a mindset that is rooted in performance.

Performance mindsets believe that one’s value is based on results. If I am succeeding, then I am good. I have value. If I fail in any area of life, then something is wrong with me. This mindset can impact our approach to every area of life as a daughter, a friend, a single, a wife, or a mother. Any threat to these areas of life that could hinder our success will trigger emotions and behavioral reactions in us that are often destructive. This reading plan aims to unpack five of these behavioral reactions that we see Mary and Martha exhibit. The hope is that as you identify with these insights, you will be able to apply these new insights to your own life and shift mindsets from distress to rest despite the circumstances around you.

Let's examine, through a biblical lens, what scripture teaches about the roles of serving and resting

The posture of serving/hospitality has its roots in Genesis, where we see Abraham model biblical hospitality. This was known as the sacred duty of treating strangers and friends alike.

Biblical hospitality is described by Scott Cormode, a professor of leadership development at Fuller Theological Seminary, as “the offer to extend the privileges of community to those who do not have the standing to expect it, especially those who are vulnerable because they are strangers. Hospitality is an offer to identify with outsiders and to treat them like insiders. Hospitality is extending privilege across differences.” Grasping the true gift of hospitality means you have grasped the heart of the gospel. This is how Jesus lived His life.

Let’s shift now and look at the roots of rest. Sitting – unlike walking, running, or even standing – is primarily a picture of rest. It reveals a posture of surrender and humility with an openness to receive. The posture of sitting at someone’s feet was a technical term used in ancient times to indicate the intimate relationship between a rabbi and his disciples, who were, up until then, only men. This position also depicted a person’s heart posture as they followed the rabbi’s ways, revealing a posture of surrender, to die to self and live a new way through following. When Jesus invites us to follow Him, He invites us to get off the throne of our hearts and instead position Him there.

Hospitality and rest are both greatly commended in scripture, so I don’t believe this story of the sisters is about setting the posture of hospitality up against the posture of sitting at the feet of Jesus. These positions are not on trial against each other. To raise the position of hospitality above rest will ultimately lead to burnout and weariness, and scripture is clear that we are not to become weary in doing good.

As you ponder the above insights on rest and serving, consider which place you find most comfortable and then reflect on why. I encourage you to pause at each reflective questions section, which I have called “Deep Water Questions”. These questions are designed to draw out the complexities hidden in the deep waters of your heart and soul.

Proverbs 20:5 (KJV): Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

DEEP WATER QUESTIONS

• Who do you most identify with, Mary or Martha? Reflect why.
• What types of emotions does the position of “rest” trigger?
• Is this a comfortable posture, or does it make you feel uneasy? Reflect Why?
• Does the posture of serving give you a sense of value?
• Consider times when it has felt like you have failed in your posture of serving – what emotions did this trigger in you?

PRAY

Lord, I place before you today the wrestling mindsets that often cause me fear and anxiety. I pray as I journey with you through this plan that you will reveal in me the postures of distress and I pray you will pour over me your Spirit of peace, as I learn to rest in You.