Becoming One Flesh

After you choose to leave and cleave to each other, becoming one flesh becomes possible. The man and woman begin to think as one, act as one, and choose to be together physically. While it is not the only glue that unites a couple, sexual union is an important part of becoming one. In Ephesians 5:28-31, Paul describes how a husband and wife build such an intimate relationship that whatever the man does for himself, good or bad, he also does for her because the two have become one flesh.

The next verse in Genesis 2 describes the intimacy between Adam and Eve: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (2:25). Adam and Eve were perfectly open and transparent with each other. They exercised vulnerability with one another. While we never fully achieve this now that sin has entered the world, we can glimpse this in marriage when two people are so comfortable with each other that nothing, not even their clothes, can come between them.

This bond of “one flesh” includes the pleasure of sexual intimacy in marriage. In marriage, your bodies belong to each other to enjoy (1 Corinthians 7:4). Sex in marriage helps solidify the emotional bond of friendship with your spouse. It also helps protect your marriage from temptations to seek sexual fulfilment outside the marriage. While producing children is not the sole purpose of marriage, sexual intimacy is also intended for procreation.

Going into your marriage with a willingness to learn and talk together is the beginning of becoming one flesh. Remember that you are choosing to place your marriage relationship above any other human relationship you have. This involves leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh. There is no relationship outside of intimacy with God that is deeper and more meaningful than the marriage relationship.

Reflect

Prayerfully consider how you are preparing for or building your marriage. Ask the Spirit to show you any areas where you are prioritizing other relationships over your marriage relationship. What is one step you can take this week to prioritize your relationship? Ask God to enable you to take this step.

This content was adapted from Getting Married? by Chao Tsuma with James Tsuma Wanje. If you would like to learn more about building your marriage before it begins, especially in an African context, read the whole book.