Becoming One by Cleaving

Genesis 2:24 describes the next step as holding fast to your spouse. After you have chosen to leave your mother and father physically, emotionally, socially, and financially, you begin to hold fast to one another in your marriage. Neither leaving nor holding fast happens overnight, but you have to be willing to start the process.

Some Bible translations refer to holding fast as cleaving. Cleaving doesn’t mean that the two of you should spend every minute together, never disagree, or have no meaningful relationships outside of your marriage. Cleaving means that you vow to stand together, to remain steadfast, and to closely pursue each other, even when things are not going well or are not as clear as you would like.

One way to solidify your unity is by praying together. Prayer forms a bond that is difficult to break. It not only strengthens your intimacy with each other, it also strengthens your intimacy with God. When you cleave to each other, you choose to resolve differences when they come up. You choose to practice patience with each other and seek and grant forgiveness. Cleaving means choosing to make God the centre of your marriage, as both of you continuously seek the counsel of God in his Word and in the people he has placed around you. Cleaving means you are willing to team up and build a unique culture together.

Leaving and cleaving does not mean you cannot be there for your parents. Families are a strong support system in a marriage relationship, and it would be unwise for a couple getting married to walk away from their family. But families can also tear the couple apart instead of helping them stay glued together. In Matthew 19:6, Jesus says of marriage: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” A delicate, healthy balance needs to be forged for the new couple to leave and still keep a healthy relationship with their families. Remember, as you build each other, you are able to help build others in your circles.

Reflect

Do you pray together regularly as a couple? Ask God to show you one step you can take this week to begin a mutual prayer life or to enhance what you are already doing.