The Joy & Commitment of Marriage

By Kiana Hershey

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."—Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)

Commitment can be overwhelming. You might wrestle with questions like, “How do I know if they are the one I’m supposed to marry?” or “Will our love last forever?”

Culture will tell you that love is a feeling, but the reality is that love is a choice. A perfect example of this choice is found in Ephesians 1:4 (NLT), which says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us.” This verse demonstrates that even before you knew the Lord, committed your life to glorifying Him, allowed yourself to be transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit, or began living in obedience to His commands, He chose you and He loved you. Therefore, displaying that love is a choice.

With that choice comes the great responsibility of wisely choosing that someone to give all of your love to for the rest of your life. The person you choose to commit to in marriage is the one you’re going to give your time, attention, and affection to. This is a person you’re going to sacrifice for. This is the person you’re going to choose day after day despite difficulties, frustrations, joys, or celebrations. This person is going to single handedly have the greatest impact on your life. They’re going to become a part of you and a representation of you. They will either draw you closer to the Lord or pull you away. They will be the father or mother of your children and the one you take care of in old age. When chosen wisely, those shared experiences are some of the greatest joys in life and marriage. But, when chosen thoughtlessly or irresponsibly, those shared experiences can become the greatest challenge, burden, and most difficult exercise of selflessness you may experience.

So how do you know if you’re making the right choice in who to marry? The good news is, you don’t have to carry the weight of making that decision alone. God desires for you to seek Him and His wisdom. Proverbs 8:17 (ESV) says, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.” God desires to grant you His wisdom, all you have to do is ask. The choice of who to marry is an opportunity to grow in your relationship with Christ, to learn what it means to seek Him diligently, and to place your trust in His plan and knowledge.

God’s ultimate desire for your life is for you to love Him, to glorify Him, and to enjoy Him forever. Therefore, His desires are the same for your marriage. The person you’re currently dating or hope to marry should love God wholeheartedly and must be more concerned with your holiness than your happiness. Your relationship should glorify Him spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally both in marriage and while dating. And then, if those both are true, you can enjoy God together forever and push each other closer to Lord every day. The greatest fulfillment in marriage is pursuing Christ with all you have and all you are alongside the person you love.