The Path Out of Lonelinessಮಾದರಿ

We’ve spent some time over the past four days briefly discussing the different aspects of loneliness. On our last day together, I’d like to explore how we can develop a culture of love and acceptance that can effectively become the antithesis of loneliness for those around us. As followers of Christ, it is our privilege and responsibility to enact the mission of Christ. The intent of the gospel is to redeem the lost relationship that happened in the Garden. From that moment when sin and loneliness entered the story, God has been recklessly and relentlessly pursuing us to redeem us and to restore us in relationship with him. 

Loneliness does not stand a chance when it’s confronted with the person of Jesus Christ combined with the intentional community of those around us. Therefore, it’s our responsibility to become change agents of the gospel by intentionally and purposefully engaging others in relationship.

When we begin to see others for who they are, their struggle and all, they have a greater chance of coming out of their loneliness. The more patient and persistent that we are, the greater the opportunity for them to engage in and restore their relationship with Jesus.

So, the question becomes, how do we do this? I want you to understand this is not an exhaustive list, but a practical starting point. 

• Begin to develop a theology of suffering. What do I mean by that? Well look through Scripture, when you look through the stories of Job and Elijah and many, many more stories, look at how God engaged those individuals in their suffering. We have to have a theology of suffering before we can develop an effective theology of care. So, what is your theology of suffering? Is it trying to fix somebody or is it sitting with somebody? Is it being with them in their struggle or is it trying to provide didactic learning opportunities for them? Whatever that is, understand what your theology of suffering is, and I would really encourage you to bring it back to the scriptures. 
• Recognize the power of your presence. I love the Jewish culture when somebody passes away, they create something called Sitting Shiva, and that’s basically creating opportunity to sit next to somebody to laugh with them, to cry with them, to share a meal with them, to engage them in their grief, without providing advice or things to fix. It’s just the power of presence, our bodies are biofeedback machines in such when we sit with somebody that’s struggling, our breathing and our heartrate will match up to theirs. And there’s power in our presence to bring comfort.  
• Create protective factors.  
  • How are you creating mental and emotional health supports in your areas? Are you being trained in mental health and emotional health from a layperson’s perspective? Are you able to understand what is going on in those that are struggling?  
  • Don’t rescue. Don’t fix. But like I talked about earlier with my Sherpa guide in Nepal, walk alongside, guide them. Be in lock-step with them as they are figuring this out. And provide tools. Provide Ah-Ha moments that you’ve experienced along the journey. But don’t try to rescue and don’t try to fix.   
• Help people become old friends with their emotions. Go back to day two or three when we talked about this idea of sitting with the tension. Help people sit with that tension of their emotions and begin to understand the nuances of them. 

Again, this is not an exhaustive list. There are many more things we can do to help people walk out of their loneliness. But these are practical tools that could help you begin that process.

Questions for Reflections: 

1. Who in your life needs your presence?
2. What steps can you begin to take to help someone who is struggling?

Remember that you don’t have to have this all figured out. You just have to be a little bit farther down the path than the person you’re wanting to help. We need each other. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and my prayer for you is this: that you will continue to walk out of loneliness and bring those along with you that need your support.

We adapted this plan from The Path Out of Loneliness. Learn more about this discipleship resource.