Dealing With Meಮಾದರಿ

Who Is in Control Here? My Mouth or Me?

When you find yourself in the middle of a conflict, should you just say whatever you want to say to your husband? No! “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil” (Proverbs 15:28). You have been born again, you have the “heart of the righteous,” and you study how to answer. In fact, it is your responsibility to study how to answer.

If you find yourself in a conversation with your husband that seems to be going nowhere good, what should you do? Study how to answer. Here’s a practical suggestion: If you are in a heated argument, simply say, “I need to excuse myself for a minute. I’ll be back.” Calmly walk away and find a place where you can be alone. Then say, “Holy Spirit, You’re in me, and You’re with me. I need Your help right now.” 

You could go back to your husband and say, “I don’t have any more to say. I respect you, and I don’t have anything else to say.” What did you just do? You stopped an argument. It takes two people to argue and strive, and you just refused to participate. In a rational and non-emotional way, you took control of yourself and said, “I don’t need to talk any more right now; I need some time.” Those are powerful words! 

You may have spoken harsh words and stirred up anger in your husband or in others in the past, but you can change by the power of the Holy Spirit. Once you see the wisdom in giving a soft answer, you’ll choose it more often. Wrath is like a bomb, and a soft answer defuses the bomb. It turns the bomb off!

A soft answer doesn’t just come “out of thin air”! It comes from you. It comes from your willingness to yield to the Holy Spirit and what’s inside you: the truth, God’s love, self-control, and peace. As you yield to Him, by faith, you give a soft answer. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). 

If you choose to participate in an argument, you will likely say things you wish you had never said, and you could grieve the Holy Spirit. Choose to give a soft answer instead.

Are you ready for change? Choose to be a doer of the Word. When you obey God’s Word each day, He develops character inside you!

Confession

I make the decision to change. I see the power of my words. Lord, I see that Your Holy Spirit is present to help me, and I choose to listen and yield to Him. I choose to use my mouth to show respect for my husband.