Fruit Of The Spirit Sports Devotional ಮಾದರಿ

Leader's Guide Lesson 6: Kindness

Theme:

Kindness is best shown by being nice to those who aren’t nice to us.

Coaches' Notes:

My son has a good friend who is older but is smaller. My son is broad shouldered. His buddy has a much smaller frame. In the last couple of years, my son's friend has been the one boy in their grade who has stood up to bullies. He’s done it on multiple occasions. Physically intervening on someone else’s behalf. I admire my son’s friend for this. My wife and I have talked to our son about what a good example his friend sets by doing this.

How do I reconcile my admiration for my son’s friend with this week’s fruit of the Spirit, kindness? Doesn’t kindness essentially say we’re to be pacifists and never stand up for ourselves? If we’re bearing the fruit of kindness, how do we act when others are mean?

A couple of guidelines may help us guide our players. First, if the meanness is simply an insult to us, we’re not to respond in the same manner. This is what Jesus means when He says that “if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5.39). Does this mean we can’t say something along the lines of “that was rude” or “you shouldn’t talk to people like that”? No, but we’re not to respond to meanness with meanness. Second, it’s ok (sometimes necessary) to defend ourselves or others physically, if we don’t initiate the physicality and the aggressor won’t let up. A push on the playground? Walk away. Holding you or another down and trying to punch you/them? You may need to defend yourself or others.

With kindness, we’re never mean, even when others are. It also means never responding physically to verbal rudeness. This is another example of “controlling controllables.” We can’t control someone else's rude behavior, but we can control our response to their behavior.

Discussion Questions:

1. From the guidelines above, think of a couple of hypotheticals to see how your players would respond to certain situations. Help them understand the difference between turning the other cheek to insults while defending themselves or others when someone initiates physical contact.
2. This is an especially good fruit of the Spirit to explain that Christians should stand out and might be misunderstood by others. While there are unique situations where we may need to defend ourselves or others, our character should still be defined by kindness.

Discussion:

Not many people would choose meanness over kindness. Very few people would say they are more mean than kind. In other words, most people think others should generally be kind, and most people think they themselves are kind.

If kindness is really the norm, then why is it a fruit of the Spirit? Maybe because the kindness Paul is getting at here is not quite as simple or frequently practiced as we might think.

The kindness Paul is speaking about is not simply being nice most of the time. It’s definitely not being nice only when it benefits us to be nice or only when people are nice to us. Instead, biblical kindness is being nice when others aren’t nice, even when they may be rude to us. The Bible tells us “if your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head” (Proverbs 25.21-22a). What does this mean? It means treat rude people (enemies) with kindness, and it will hurt them knowing you’re nice and they’re not. 

Yet, we tend to only be nice when it benefits us or when others are nice. But how about when someone gets under our skin? Or when someone is rude to us? Are we kind in return, or do we respond in the same rude way?

In coaching, I fail at this sometimes (maybe often, depending on who you ask). I’m generally a very nice, laid-back coach. I generally talk to other coaches, get to know them, and have built lots of coaching friendships over the years with coaches I’ve coached against. When I coach against a coach who is not nice, something inside me wants to be rude in return. I am tempted to respond in the same way the other coach is acting. I am tempted to put these rude coaches in their place.

What would God say about this? Be kind to everyone. Kill them with kindness. Show them what a Christian coach looks like. Maybe they’ll soften up a bit. Maybe I’ll end up being friends with them once we get to know each other better. Maybe they’ll continue to be rude. No matter how they respond, though, you can rest easy knowing you exhibited biblical kindness.