The Better Friendნიმუში

WHO GOD MADE YOU TO BE

When I noticed I had mainly shallow and one-sided friend­ships, my first reaction was to blame everyone else: Why couldn’t they be better friends? Why couldn’t they choose me, care for me, and show up for me? I blamed my disappointment on their inability to see my worth. Although sometimes I truly was betrayed or let down by others, I can now see that the disappointment actu­ally started with my inability to see my worth.

I’m a lot more secure and happy now than I used to be, but I’ve noticed that when it comes to friendship, I often still feel like an awkward middle schooler. Do you ever feel that way? The thing is, no amount of followers, dinner parties, happy hours, sorority date parties, or invites can make up for the bullying, hurts, isolation, and empty lunch tables you experienced grow­ing up. In fact, you need to find contentment in who God made you to be before you can truly find friends who love you in a way that reflects His love.

God might start the journey to better friendships in your own heart. He’ll help you discover three things:

1. Better confidence in who He made you to be.
2. Better contentment when life isn’t going how you wish.
3. Better discernment when it comes to friendships.

I’ve spent too long feeling insecure and inadequate, and therefore, settling for superficial friendships. I couldn’t change how people treated me or saw me, but I could change how I saw myself. When I walked confidently, understanding my worth, I found people who celebrated and cared for me.

If you’re struggling to believe in your worth, spend time reading or listening to Psalm 139. It’s a powerful reminder about how each one of us is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

Discernment will help you and me see how we can cultivate better friendships. We need discernment not only to know which friends to lean into but also to take stock of our own behavior and beliefs. It starts with understanding how much God loves us and loves who he created us to be.

How have past friendships shaped the way you view yourself? How has this affected the way you search for friendships?