The Better Friendნიმუში

A HOLY DESIRE

If you’re like me, you’re tired of one-side friendships. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” A true friend loves you all the time and is such a gift in this crazy world. But often we settle for friends who include us, listen to us, or care for us only sometimes.

While no friendship is perfect, it’s not selfish to desire relationships rooted in love and growth. In fact, I think that’s a healthy desire.

For a long time, my struggles in friendship came from feeling like the “better friend.” Too often it felt like me trying a whole lot and my friends not trying much at all. I spiraled into insecurity whenever I saw posts of my “friends” hanging out without me, when I wondered if a current friend was ghosting me, or when I reflected on a friend breakup from five years ago and realize I cared more than she ever did.

Friendship requires emotional labor, trust, and vulnerability. While trying to create community, we may find ourselves fighting through trust issues from past hurts and overthinking new connections. And let’s face it—you don’t just stumble upon a group of girlfriends who also love queso and make you feel happy, joyful, and seen. But when we find better people and seek to be better ourselves, holy friendships lead us to our best and God’s best.

If you’re feeling lonely, bitter, or stuck in one-sided friendships, I want to remind you that God is leading you to a mira­cle. James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” When you stand steadfast and trust the Lord during the loneliness, disappointment, and insecurity, you re­ceive something better than life going “your way”—you receive a greater awareness of His love.

Don’t doubt yourself if you gave friendship your all while oth­ers didn’t. Celebrate the fact that you care deeply for others—that’s Christ in you (Colossians 1:27). Stand firm in His love and trust His promise of the gift of holy friendships.

God, I pray for good friendships in my future. Help prepare me to love others well and receive their love for me. Amen.