The Hurt SpiralSample

RUNNING AWAY AND STAYING AWAY

And then, when revenge didn’t take away the pain, Absalom did what most of us do when it gets too hard to face the hurt. He ran away. “Absalom fled to his grandfather Talmai, son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. He stayed there in Geshur for three years” (2 Samuel 13:37-38, NLT).

The problem with running away from a hurtful situation is that nothing is resolved. It lingers and brings about many emotional reactions to the loss of a once-loving relationship. These reactions look similar to the denial, anger, and negotiation of a normal mourning process. But without reaching peaceful acceptance in the end. All parties are left with nothing but longing for what was and what could have been.

In David and Absalom’s case, both parties felt too hurt to face each other. Even though Absalom was the one who ran away, David couldn’t muster the strength to reach out to his son for three whole years. “And King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom” (2 Samuel 13:39, NLT).

Jump ahead to the New Testament again. Hiding away from a hurtful situation made the difference between death and a much greater new life in Christ. After Judas betrayed Jesus, he couldn’t imagine ever coming out of hiding again. “Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the Temple and went out and hanged himself” (Matthew 27:5, NLT).

But Peter knew that there was healing available in Christ. The first time he saw Jesus after He was raised from the dead was an emotional event (John 21). Peter didn’t shy away. He jumped (literally) at the chance to see Jesus (v. 7). He was able to put his pain of failure and humiliation aside for a moment for any chance to restore their relationship. And Jesus also didn’t pretend. He asked Peter three times if he really loved him (v. 15-18). Even though “Peter was hurt,” he persevered through the pain. And what amazing ministry awaited him!

Which hurtful situation are you hiding from? What is holding you back from making contact with a loved one who hurt you? How would they react to a bold move from your side?

Let us find courage to face our hurts by the grace of Christ who is waiting to help us in every weakness. “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most (Hebrews 4:16, NLT)