The Hurt SpiralSample

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

It doesn’t take a genius to know that Absalom’s plan was going to have a ripple effect. You don’t walk into a family gathering, kill your father, and walk out of there as if nothing had happened.

In Absalom’s case, things might have turned out much worse, but there was still some collateral damage. Fortunately, his father, King David, decided not to attend the feast (2 Samuel 13:25), and his brothers all fled instead of fighting back (v. 29). But due to a rumor that spread after the attack on Amnon, David received a horrific report that all his sons were killed. Imagine the shock and grief he must have felt! And the effects of Absalom’s revenge did not stop there.

Absalom was so consumed by hurt that he didn’t care who else suffered. Innocent bystanders could have been killed. His father or brothers could have made sure that justice was served by having him killed as well. And then his sister Tamar, whom he was trying to protect, would have lost her home and livelihood.

Let’s take another look at how Jesus responded to hurt. What would have happened if He did not consider the long-term effects of his actions? What collateral damage did Jesus consider when he was hurt by his closest friends? If Jesus had an emotional breakdown when Peter denied Him, Peter would most likely have been killed with Him (John 18). And if Jesus gave in to his hurt when Judas gave Him that fatal kiss of betrayal, He would have asked his Father to send some angels to rescue Him (Matthew 26). And we would be lost for all eternity.

In the same way, we often use our hurt to justify any behavior that may bring us some relief. No matter who else gets hurt in the process. We are too hurt to consider the long-term damage that our actions may cause. Our children pay the price when our hurt turns into divorce. Or our families are forever divided when we take offense.

Who else in your life is suffering for your hurt? Do you need to pause and reflect on some of your reactions to a hurtful situation from long ago?

Let us be cautious of collateral damage when we get hurt by others. Let us take time to consider the greater effects of our actions before we react. “Be angry [at sin - at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26, AMP).