Loving Through ListeningSample

Helpful Listening and Responding

The first duty of love is to listen.

- Paul Tillich

Can you think of a time when someone sat with you face to face, leaned in, and listened intently as you shared a story with them of when you were hurt, betrayed or abandoned in some way? Or perhaps you felt stuck or overwhelmed. What was that like for you? What did it feel like when they listened and engaged you well? What did it invite in you?

We embody the love and the heart of God, the hands and feet of Jesus when we are present to each other and offer attuned care. In 1 Peter 3:8, we are invited to compassion, kindness, and humility as we offer our presence in Love.

What does this look like on a practical level when we are sitting face to face with someone who begins to share their story and heart?

Intentional, helpful listening is:

• Keeping your mind and heart open and curious.
• Holding the space for them for that time period and giving them my undivided attention.
• Being fully present. When you are fully present and engaged, you communicate, “You are important, and so are the things you are saying. I hear you. I see you. I care about you and your story. It matters.”
• Engaging them - their whole person - with your whole person. Allowing them to affect you, i.e., to grieve with those who grieve.
• Offering them the dignity of being heard - having their story witnessed.

We each have different styles of relating, and yet there are ways we can be with another person that show care, honor, kindness, and compassion in ways that have the potential to facilitate healing!

As you ponder all this with God today, ask Him:

Father, how am I meant to be cared for, attuned to, and listened to in ways that bring honor, dignity, integration, and healing to the deep places of my heart and in my story? Where are your provisions for me here?

Jesus, would you help me remember how it felt when someone listened well to my heart and my story? How did I feel in my body as they listened to me? What did their listening invite in me?

Spirit, would you open my heart and mind to the possible ways that your Presence brings integration and healing and how I might partner with you to offer this to others?