Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 2Sample

Is That Okay?

To me today’s verses set the foundation for talking about what is okay and not okay in sex in your marriage. Paul, in 1 Corinthians, warns us of the temptations we face that can lead to sexual immorality and says that we need to focus our desires on our spouse. In Ephesians, Paul shows us the depth and commitment we need to have in marriage. Finally in Proverbs, we once again see the beauty and delight of the sexual relationship.

Think through this question. Since marriage is also described as a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church, is there anything in the sexual relationship that takes away from this? If so, I think it needs to be off limits.

In other words, does it take away from the covenant between each of you and the covenant between the two of you and God? A few of the things that would fall under this are:

• Including another person in the sexual relationship.
• Using pornography, as this is another way of including others in the sexual relationship.
• Going outside the marriage for sexual gratification.
• Anything that becomes an obsession or a necessity in the sexual relationship. God actually gave us everything we need with our bodies alone.

There are also things that may not be forbidden or even mentioned in the Bible that would be unwise at best. Here are a couple of these:

• Any sexual activity that puts you or your spouse at risk of injury or illness.
• Sending explicit pictures of one another carries the risk of the images falling into the wrong hands.
• Finally, does the sexual activity we want to try communicate love and respect to our spouse? Pressuring our spouse to do something they do not want to do does not lead to unifying sex.

Let’s finish this two-part plan with a few verses and thoughts by Ray Ortlund, President of Renewal Ministries.

• Freedom “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). God gives us so much freedom in our married sexual relationships.
• Sensitivity “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7). As husbands, we need to stay at the comfort level of our wives.
• Agreement “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Agreement is such a key word for us as we consider what our sex life will look like.
• Exclusivity “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). God designed sex for marriage. Any sex outside of marriage is sin and completely different from God’s design.

Today’s Challenge:

Sex in marriage the way God designed it is much more about what you can do than what you cannot do. As you grow in this area of your marriage, take time to eliminate anything that stands in the way of achieving awesome sex in your marriage.

When God created man and woman, He had an amazing plan for sex. Every couple hopes to have great sex in their marriage. Yet far too many couples are struggling in this area.

That’s exactly why I created the Achieving Awesome Sex in Marriage Course. I want to help you understand God’s design and purpose for sex as you learn to achieve awesome sex in marriage through this self-paced online course. Use the link above for more details.