Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 2Sample

Protecting Your Sex Life

I love to take this verse and use it as a template over my marriage. Then I ask myself, “How am I doing in fulfilling each of these in my marriage?” How am I loving Nancy well? Is there joy in our marriage? What about patience, and goodness? Am I faithful in my heart to her? Do I treat her gently and do I have self-control so that I do not say or do anything that would hurt her?

Some days I do pretty well and some days I do not. I realize I do best when I draw boundaries around my marriage to protect it and us from the outside world. For me, it is learning how to live as God wants me to in this world but not to be of this world. Boundaries help me to do that.

Here are some areas that I think are important for you to consider:

• Boundaries with the opposite sex. Don’t be alone with someone of the opposite sex. Don’t be friends with old boyfriends or girlfriends. Don’t share or talk about personal things with someone of the opposite sex unless your spouse is there.
• It’s important to set boundaries in your marriage. They need to be a win for your marriage. They can involve compromise and sacrifice for each other. It’s setting boundaries and still being a team. It’s setting and accepting them to show love for each other.
• Boundaries with your time. Make sure time with your spouse and family are on your calendar and that nothing but an emergency would cause you to cancel these or move them around.

Remember that boundaries are what sets the space between where you end and the other person begins. They set the space between where the two of you end and other people or things begin both within and outside of your marriage. Boundaries help you act with gentleness and kindness toward your spouse and live with spirit-led self-control. Healthy, agreed upon boundaries will change your marriage and improve your sex life.

They are meant to protect your marriage. Use them to help your marriage win! Don’t use them to hurt each other or get your own selfish way. Remember: you are on the same team. Act like it!

Today’s Challenge:

Take time to talk about the boundaries that you feel are important in your marriage. Focus on the ones with the opposite sex, for your marriage, and with your time.