Relationships: Passing the Vibe CheckSample

Day 11: Room for Jesus

Ephesians 4:2-3 New International Version (NIV)

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

The only relationship that will work has Christ in the center. It doesn’t matter if you started dating a week ago or if you are contemplating marriage. Each of you must love and need God more than you love and need each other. Without God’s help, you cannot be humble, gentle, patient, or loving enough. He is the only one who is enough.

Verse three above mentions the unity of the Spirit, which reminds me of how the Holy Spirit and your spirit as a Christian are connected. Your relationship with God is the single most important relationship in your life, and if you cultivate it first and foremost, your other relationships will also be strengthened if they are in your best interest. If not, then you will feel the disconnect when your partner doesn’t place God in the center of his/her life as well.

Many times, I’ve seen a Biblical relationship symbolized by a triangle with God as the top point. As you each grow individually closer to God, you will grow closer and more mature in your love for each other, without needing an overwhelming effort to try and “make it work.” (See the attached image.)

When you create a tight, little triangle with God, your partner, and yourself, you can endure the difficult times that will come to you in this world.

Please also notice that in this representation, you have no room for another person. Do not cheat on a significant other. God leaves no doubt that He expects this relationship to have only three participants: Him, your partner, and you.

Also, there’s no room for parents or well-meaning friends to make decisions. They are still very important in supporting you, praying for you, providing Biblical advice, and encouraging you. However, outside people cannot make decisions about the two of you in this triangle with God. If you let that happen, you draw yourself closer to a different human instead of to God, and the tight, little triangle suddenly becomes a weird, unstable shape.

Your relationship with your significant other is important and will dictate many aspects of your life while you are together. Guard yourself so that your connection to God is still at the top of your triangle.

·What new insights have you gained about a Christian relationship?

·Where do you see real-life models of true Christian love between a husband and wife? How do these couples affect you?

·What is your assessment of the triangle symbol?

·Which dating issues are more difficult for a Christian couple to handle?

·Which issues are easier?