What Is Real Love? A Guide to 1 JohnSample

1 John 4:19-21, 5:1-5

19 We love each other because he loved us first.20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers. 1 John 4:19-21 NLT

1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too. 2 We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. 3 Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. 5 And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5:1-5 NLT

Pray: God, thank you for loving me first. Even when I was far from you and caught up in all the wrong things, you never stopped chasing after me. I want to love you with all that I am and love others just as you have loved me. Help me to obey your commands and trust in your character. Help me to remember that nothing the enemy can throw at me is greater than the love you’ve shown me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

In the passage we read yesterday, John helped us understand what real love is and why becoming people who are shaped and moved by love is the goal of our discipleship journey. Today, John leans into the “how” question and gets pretty practical. Let’s check it out.

19 We love each other because he loved us first. 1 John 4:19 NLT

We love each other because God loved us first. He went first and showed us how to do it. He isn’t asking us to do something He’s unwilling to do. Jesus was not a lazy dude still living in His parents’ basement expecting them to do all the stuff He didn’t want to do. What Jesus did was the total opposite of that. He poured out His life in perfect obedience to God and complete love for us. He did for us what we could never do on our own. Before the universe came into existence, He set a plan in motion to rescue us from our own rebellion. Before we even had the chance to lounge around watching Netflix on the couch, Jesus laid down His life for us on the couch. Because He has loved us first, we get to love Him back.

And the way that we do that matters. So, John does what he is so good at and points out a trap of inconsistency so we can avoid it.

20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers. 1 John 4:20-21 NLT

Once again, John makes the case that words not backed up by actions are empty and useless. It doesn’t make sense for someone to say they love God and then hate His family. That’s hurtful and insulting. And John is going to go into greater detail about this in the next verses.

1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too. 2 We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. 1 John 5:1-2 NLT

John reminds us that the people around us, the ones we are called and commanded to love, are children of God. They aren’t our enemy. They aren’t objects for us to use. They are people, made in the image of God meant to be loved, valued, and honored. Sin wants to blind us to the image of God in ourselves and others, but Jesus wants to heal and restore our sight so we can see ourselves and others for who we really are.

Think about this. If you were a parent and your best friend in the world came up to you and said, “Hey, I love you. I love spending time with you and being your friend. But your kid is just the worst. I don’t like them and don’t want to be around them. So, if you could just pretend like they aren’t important and they don’t really exist when you interact with me, that’d be great, thanks.” What?? No way! No one who genuinely loves you would be a punk to your kids like that. Simply put, when you love someone, what’s important to them becomes important to you. And people are immensely important to God.

3 Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:3 NLT

This next verse is clear and encouraging. Loving God means keeping His commands. So, if you’ve ever wondered what God’s love language is, it’s obedience. Loving God looks like doing what He says. Jesus demonstrated this perfectly with His words and His life. Jesus said: “10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.”John 15:10-12 NLT

If you think that keeping God’s commands sounds terrible and tiring, then you’re missing what Jesus and John are saying. All of us were created for a purpose that is so much bigger than our own personal happiness. When you make it your life’s goal to pursue pleasure, you may find momentary happiness, but you’ll lose out on so much more in the long run. On the flip side, when you make it your life’s goal to accomplish the purpose God has given you, you may experience temporary struggles, but you will gain lasting joy when you stick with it.

We were made to love God and love others. These commands aren’t random rules God is placing on us to harm us. They are actually essential ingredients to experiencing the life of more that we are made for.

As human beings, we were hardwired to love and be loved; we were designed for relationships with God and people. These commands are not burdensome expectations God is forcing on us. They are loving invitations God has offered to us. When we follow them, we will find our way to the heart of God and we will be formed into people of love.

4 For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. 5 And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5:4-5 NLT

These next verses are a callback and a reminder of what being a child of God entails. In chapter 2, John encouraged believers in all different stages of maturity: 12 I am writing to you who are God’s children because your sins have been forgiven through Jesus. 13 I am writing to you who are mature in the faith because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning. I am writing to you who are young in the faith because you have won your battle with the evil one. 1 John 2:12-13 NLT

No matter where we are in our journey of following Jesus, what John wants us to know is that we are children of God. Saved from Sin and adopted into His family. When we place our trust in Jesus, we get to share in His victory over death and the devil. And that is really good news because this battle is not one that we can win any other way—not by trying hard enough or being good enough. Only by believing that Jesus is who He said He was and He did what He said He would do. Because if Jesus really is the Son of God, it changes absolutely everything for the better.

Application: Who do you need to start loving like Jesus? Call to mind that person who is really difficult for you to love. Got the name? Now, remind yourself how important that person is to God. Important enough to die for. Make a plan to intentionally serve that person in some way today and tell someone you trust to hold you accountable.