Wellbeing: An Invitation to a Flourishing LifeSample

The Journey of Forgiveness

Holding onto unforgiveness is like picking a scab. For some of us, it might feel satisfying and even like we’re achieving something, but in reality, all we’re doing is re-opening a wound and preventing it from healing. If it’s so unhealthy, why do we hold onto unforgiveness?

In a parable on forgiveness, Jesus used the analogy of debt. When someone wrongs us, it’s like they’ve taken an emotional loan from us. They’ve robbed us of something, and we want it back. We feel the injustice, and we want the books to be balanced. The problem is that we can never balance them. All we ever end up doing is fueling our bitterness and causing more pain to ourselves and others.

When one of the guards of her concentration camp asked Corrie Ten Boom for forgiveness many years after the war, she felt all the unidentified bitterness within herself resurface. Describing the moment, she says, “Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.”

When forgiving the most traumatic, we will almost always find that we don’t have the strength to forgive. It feels too much like we’re leaving the debt unpaid. Jesus reminds us that as unforgivable as all people’s sins against us feel, they are nothing compared to our sins against Him. Not only does Jesus carry the cost of all our sins, but He also carries the cost of all the sins committed against us.

Even if we can’t find the strength within ourselves, Jesus will always help us to forgive in His strength. When we allow Jesus’ forgiveness to flow through us, we find that the weight of unforgiveness was never carried by the person who hurt us but by ourselves. There is nothing so liberating as being set free from unforgiveness.

Thought Point: Is there any unforgiveness (big or small) that is present in your heart? What would it look like to be set free from this?

Prayer Point: Invite the Holy Spirit to bring healing where you have been hurt in the past. Invite Him to release you from any unforgiveness that is holding you back.