Wellbeing: An Invitation to a Flourishing LifeSample

Dealing with Conflict

Have you experienced times at work or with family or friends where an unresolved disagreement has arisen, and there is an ongoing sense of awkwardness and discomfort or open hostility and anger? Sometimes conflict can be healthy. It can be an opportunity to understand more about ourselves and those to whom we relate. It can generate some creative ways to solve problems and grow character.

However, sustained, unresolved conflict can lead to stress, poor health, and a weakened immune system making us more susceptible to infections and chronic pain. Unhealthy conflict can have a significant impact on our whole well-being.

When conflict arose in the early church, Paul urged the believers to resolve their differences quickly (I Cor. 1:10; Eph. 4:1). In Colossians 3, Paul lays out how God’s people should approach conflict and disagreement:

1. “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Take time to sort out your attitude.
2. “Bear with one another and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another.” Seek first to listen, to understand the other person without trying to justify your position. Consider how you may have offended, be ready to apologise, and ask forgiveness for any way you contributed to the conflict.
3. “Over all these virtues put on love.” Let God’s love direct your thoughts, words and actions.
4. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Invite the Holy Spirit to be with you in your conversations.
5. “Be thankful.” Acknowledge God’s presence and recognise the importance of the other person’s life.
6. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” Remind yourself of God’s words about love, unity, and peace.

Thought Point: Can you bring to mind relationships in your life where you know there are unresolved issues? Using what you’ve learned from Colossians, how can you engage in this conflict in a healthy way?

Prayer Point: Ask the Holy Spirit to give you His fruit in your life, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control, to equip you to build healthy relationships and give you the courage to be open to forgiving and being forgiven