What's Holding You Back?Sample

DEMOLISHING STRONGHOLDS

All behavior tells a story, and all behavior is driven by a need to connect or self-protect. The danger of self-protecting behavior is that the methods we often choose work for us in the short-term but are destructive long term.

Self-protecting behavior is called defense mechanisms in psychology, but from a theological perspective, they are called strongholds. The biblical meaning of a stronghold, as described in 2 Corinthians 10:4, is a means to fortify through the idea of holding safely. A castle, stronghold, fortress, or fastness. Anything one relies on (outside of God) to hold safety, including behavior.

In the story of the woman at the well, we see her choosing to draw water in the middle of the day. Most in her culture would draw water in the cool of the morning or evening. She potentially chose the middle of the day to avoid meeting other people. When our identity is surrounded by shame, in other words, we believe there is something "wrong" with who we are, it results in finding ways to hide who we are, hence our chosen behavior.

The Samaritan woman chose the self-protecting behavior of avoidance. Avoidance means we block out the potential of feeling pain due to rejection, shaming, or failure, but it also means we block out the possibility of acceptance, encouragement, and success. The problem with all self-protecting behaviors is that they can't selectively only block out the bad; they block out the good too. This behavior leads to a stronghold of isolation.

Below are examples of types of stronghold behavior:

• Fierce independence and self-reliance to avoid trusting others.
• The need to always be in control for fear of failure.
• The ability to rationalize and intellectualize everything to avoid showing emotion or vulnerability.
• To depend on activities, achievements, substances, or material possessions to feel better and avoid facing painful emotions.

Remember, whatever behavior you escape to, you often become enslaved by. This bondage is why scripture wants us to demolish strongholds, behaviors we choose to protect ourselves with, and instead turn to Christ our ultimate refuge of safety.

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS:

• What behavior have you chosen to use to protect yourself from painful emotions?
• How is your chosen behavior making your world smaller?
• What do you believe God wants for you?

PRAY:

Lord, show me the strongholds in my life that are keeping me stuck in fear and robbing me of the fullness of the life you desire for me. Then, as I choose to demolish these behaviors, I pray that you will be my rock, my fortress, and the one I turn to for comfort and strength. Amen.